Page 52 of Devotion

The breeze blows through, rustling the tall trees surrounding the property, and it’s the only sound to be heard as I consider her words.

“And… what if I’m not so sure that exists for me. Not truly. Where someone can completely accept who and what I am? My past? What’s woven into my DNA?”

She glances up at me, and I meet her gaze. Without me coming right out and saying it, Vera knows what I mean. Acting on my rage, taking lives… it isn’t a phase for me. It’s more than a craving.

It’s aneed.

Always has been, and I suspect it always will be.

“And what about all of this?” I say next, spreading my arms wide as I scan what we’ve built here. “You honestly believe there’s a woman who’d accept the weight of the mantle I carry? The lives I’m responsible for?”

“I think you’d be surprised.”

The certainty in her tone has me laughing again. “Interesting.”

“Well, what would you say if I told you I believe I’ve already found her,” she says, but then corrects herself. “Or should I say…we’vealready found her.”

My gaze lowers to meet hers, and our steps halt. An image of a certain raven-haired girl fills my head, and my interest in this conversation is suddenly piqued. The Circle of Six are aware of my…side project,so it’s not so farfetched that Vera might have drawn this conclusion. So, for a fraction of a second, I think the name she’s about to speak will be Layla’s. But then, she knocks the wind right out of me when she says…

“Aria.”

A deep breath lifts my shoulders, and when I exhale, I hold my tongue to avoid saying the wrong thing. After all, Aria is her niece. Mostly, I try to separate the two in my head, for fear that I’ll subconsciously hold the familial relation against Vera, but it’s hard to compartmentalize the two now that she’s brought it up in conversation.

Apparently, my face gives away more than I intend for it to, and she reads me.

“You object?” she asks.

Weighing my words, I pause before speaking. “Aria is… not someone I see myself with.”

Vera crosses her arms and shoots a questioning look my way. “Well, she’s certainly been someoneI’veseen you with. On several occasions, might I add. Am I missing something?”

I’m not quite sure how to express just how hollow my connection is with Aria. But what Vera andAria havebothseemed to miss is that… I’m just not that fucking into her.

When I fail to answer, Vera turns, and we begin walking the grounds again.

“You should know this has come up within The Circle more than once. It’s believed that if the flock sees that you’ve settled down, being a family man, it’ll make you a more stable leader in their eyes.”

“A family man,” I laugh, and Vera glances up with a smile.

“Damien, I’m dead serious. I think this would be good for the flock, and Idefinitelythink it would be good for you,” she adds, sounding hopeful. “Just a short time ago, I caught wind about one of our men nearly assaulting a woman because they were engaged to be married, and he got it in his head that he had a right to her body.”

My thoughts go back to that very incident. The one that ended with the blood of the man she speaks of on my hands.

“They’ve got the wrong idea about what commitment and family look like in a place like this, Damien. We function by different rules, enjoy certain liberties not widely accepted by the rest of society, so some of that blame falls on us for not showing this flock the way. But now that we know, now that we’ve identified the problem… who better to be that example they so clearly need than you? Was it not your vision to build a family here?”

Again, I fail to answer her question, but only because it has me deep in thought.

“I can only put the bug in your ear,” she says. “These are your people, and they trust no one to lead them but you. However, bear in mind, more often than not, being a leader requires sacrifice. I will go no further than to at least get a feel for whether Aria would be open to the idea, but the next steps—should you decide to take them—will be yours to make.”

The problem with my love for Vera is that her words bare weight. Not only does she havemybest interest at heart, but also the best interest of our people, and for that reason, this request weighs heavily.

And while I can now bet on this not being the last time this conversation will arise, I also know I’m taking her concerns into consideration.

As we continue the rest of our walk in silence, her voice echoes in my head—being a leader requires sacrifice.

I know she means well, but as rage surges through me at the thought of being expected to settle with Aria… I can’t help but wish Vera had kept this shit to herself.

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