Page 40 of Forever Golden

What now?

I turn off the alarm I’d only set a little bit ago, before snatching the door open to glare at Ricky.

“It’s late. What do you want?”

He doesn’t wait for an invitation before letting himself in, reminding me I’d forgotten to lock the security door after West and the others took off.

“We need to talk,” he insists.

“You were just here picking up Shane thirty minutes ago. Why didn’t you just say what you needed to then?”

“Because that was before I ran into fucking Tommy Navarro, Blue. What the fuck were you thinking?”

I shrink into myself and I hate that I do, letting him make me feel small.

“I… did what I had to do,” I confess, pushing strands of hair behind my ear. The gesture makes me look insecure, unsure of myself.

Damn, I guess I’m a little of both right now. My visit to Tommy was supposed to stay between me and Tommy. I suppose I should’ve known better than that.

“So, you get on my case about being two fucking minutes late to get them from school, then you go do some dumb shit like this?” he snaps. “You’ve gotta be smarter than this.”

“I did what I had to do,” I repeat.

He doesn’t get to judge me. As someone whose lived his life exactly the way he wants to, with zero regard for how I, or anyone else feels about it, I’m allowed to do what I think is best for me and my sister without his two cents.

“FYI, I paid the rest of your debt, plus interest, because there’salwaysfucking interest,” he seethes. “YouknowTommy! Which is why I don’t understand what was going through your head. Tommy’s not the kind of guy you go looking for. He’s the kind who comes looking foryou.And when he does, you get lost.”

Okay, so I made a bad call going to see him, but where the hell else was I supposed to turn? No one can sit here and babysit me and Scar twenty-four-seven. So, I made a choice. Albeit a desperate one, but it was the only one I had at the time.

“You two were friends once. He can’t be that bad,” I reason.

“B, that was kid shit. Things change. You, of all people, should know that.”

I feel the sting in his words. Whether he means for me to or not, I feel them. In his eyes,I’mone of those things that’s changed.

He looks away, as if hearing and agreeing with that thought.

“You need to tell me what the fuck’s going on.”

“Keep your voice down,” I whisper.

“Then don’t make me say it twice.”

He’s staring again. This time there’s a coldness to the look that hadn’t been there before. It’s telling of his state of mind right now. He’s not in the mood for me to be evasive and guarded.

I waver a bit, knowing West and I agreed to bring Ricky into the fold completely, but I also know him—what a hothead he can be, how he’s known for acting without thinking. There’s a chance that something I say will trigger him to do something reckless, and I’d never forgive myself if that were to happen.

“I already know this is about Vin’s shady ass, but I need to know why. What did he do or say that made you think you needed to buy a gun from fucking Tommy Navarro?” he practically hisses.

I freeze, feeling so, so torn.

“I—”

What if he goes looking for Vin? What if that leads to him getting hurt or worse?

“I… want to tell you, but… I need you to promise me something first.”

The request makes him grow even more annoyed with me than he already was.

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