Page 92 of Something Borrowed

A sunbeam halos his head, making him look like a naughty saint. “I’m—” I clear my throat. “I’m fine.”

The girl stops talking, and I introduce her to Stan. There’s a tricky moment when I can’t remember her name, but I think I recover nicely and let her introduce herself.

“Nice to meet you,” Stan says politely. He turns back to me, and I flinch as he reaches out to smooth my hair. I feel like I’ve been doused in petrol and his fingertips are sparks. I ease back, dislodging his hand. “Space,” I squeak. “Personal space.”

He frowns. “Since when? And where’s your hat, Raff?”

I scratch my ear. “Back at the hotel.”

He groans. “You’ll get sunstroke. You’ve got red hair.”

“Strawberry blond,” I say primly.

A smile hovers between us, and it feels normal. But then I’m immediately searching his face for any signs of the feelings Chris mentioned. I’m not sure what I see on Stan’s lovely face. If it’s love and not simply affection, I don’t know whether to be jubilant and turn cartwheels, or to shudder with acute fear, so I settle for a nauseous mix of the two.

“Are you going out with Rafferty, then?” the girl asks.

I inhale some water and start to cough.

Stan’s frown deepens. “No, whatever gave you that idea?”

She rolls her eyes. “I can’t even begin to imagine. Silly me.” She offers me a wry smile and I return it. “See you in a bit,” she says. She returns to her friend, who is flirting furiously with the guide.

“I’m not forgetting the possible sunburn,” Stan says firmly. “Here, take my hat.”

I make a muttered protest as he whips off the straw fedora he’s wearing and offers it to me.

“Where’s this from, anyway?” I ask. “You don’t own anything like this—just twenty thousand baseball caps.”

“Oh, it belongs to Chris.”

“Really? Well, I don’t want anything of his on my head, thank you very much.” I shove it back into his hand.

He frowns. “What doesthatmean?”

I stand up. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“What is the matter with you?” Stan says, his tone becoming annoyed.

“Are we ready to move on?” Kostas, the guide, calls.

Everyone gathers their stuff, and I join the back of the queue. Stan comes to my side. Even though I’m cross with him, I stand still so he can take my arm. The scent of his cologne makes my head spin, as usual.

Kostas comes over. “Are you enjoying the walk so far, Rafferty?” he asks in a charming and polite voice.

“It’s wonderful,” I say hoarsely. “So brilliant. More brilliant than anything.”

He eyes me curiously, and Stan smiles at him. “Don’t worry. Raff’s behaviour is completely normal for him.”

Usually, we’d both laugh at this sort of comment. But today, rage kindles in my belly.

How dare he smile at Kostas so nicely when he’s in love with me? When he’smine. I scan his handsome face and his beautiful body. He got changed before the walk and looks cool in a pale blue shirt, a pair of green jersey shorts, and old blue Gazelle trainers. It’s a simple outfit, but to me, he glows like he’s under a spotlight. We could be in a room full of people, and I would only see him.

And if what Chris said is true, then Stan and I could’ve been sharing love all this time. Instead, my fear and obliviousness made me throw away all those years, all that love.

“Raff, are you alright?” Stan asks, tugging at my arm to get me moving. His sunglasses cover his eyes, and the wind blows his curls about.

I take a protective step back, and he frowns, his hand dropping away.

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