Page 69 of Something Borrowed

“Where’s Stan?” Bennett’s voice demands, and I sigh. I could do without this at the moment.

There’s the sound of movement, and the door shuts.

“What are you both doing in here alone?” Bennett asks, the indignation in his voice a bit rich, considering he was shagging his assistant in Hamburg last week.

“The hokey cokey,” Raff responds, flippancy dialled up an extra notch. “But Stan’s shit at the steps.”

I snort, which is entirely the wrong thing to do, as I can practically feel Bennett swell with rage.

“Thank you so much, Rafferty. If I were looking for a sensible answer, I’d never have glanced your way.”

“Thank you.”

“That wasn’t a compliment.”

I sigh. “I had a panic attack,” I say softly. “Raff was looking after me.”

“Anotherone?”

I blink at the astonishment in his voice. “They’re not rationed, you know. I can have more than one a year.”

“Yes, I know,” he snaps. “It’s just I thought you’d got a handle on them now.”

“You thought he’d got ahandleon it? He’s not a fighter pilot.” Raff’s voice is full of disdain.

“Oh, fuck off, Rafferty.”

“Can you both please stop this shit?” I say wearily. I struggle to stand.

“Stan?” Raff places his hand on my arm.

“I’m alright,” I say softly.

“Yes, he’s fine,” Bennett snaps. “So maybe don’t manhandle him like that.”

I reach out for Raff’s hand, and he immediately obliges. “Can you give us a minute, Raff?”

There’s a startled silence, and then he says, “Yes, of course, if you feel up to it.”

“It’s a conversation with me, not an appointment with the guillotine,” Bennett snaps.

“If I had the choice between you and the guillotine,” Raff says in a sweet voice, “I would have danced up those steps and asked them to get on with it.”

“Thank you, Raff,” I say quickly. I hear the sound of the door closing, and an awkward silence fills the room.

“So, you came?” I finally say as I listen to Bennett pace the room. “Bennett?”

“I hate the closeness between the two of you. It cuts you off from everyone else in your life.”

“What?”

“How can you form a proper relationship when he’s always around?”

“What are you talking about?”

There’s a pause, and I hear him come close. He puts his arms around me, and I stiffen. “The two of you are completely co-dependent, and it isn’t good for you.” It stuns me that he can twist a true and deep devotion so badly. “Maybe you should move out of the flat. Raff’s never going to offer you anything you need. He can’t even form an adult relationship. Good luck toanyone seeking commitment from that one. You’d have a better chance with a goldfish.”

I shrug his arms off me, my temper sparking. “No.”

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