Page 42 of Something Borrowed

I repress a smile. “I used to have a colour detector. If you pressed it against clothing, it would tell you the colour.”

“Why don’t you use that then?”

“Well, it had quite a posh voice and Raff used to imitate it and tell stories of what it got up to when it wasn’t in use. If I remember correctly, it had a particularly debauchedrelationship with the TV remote control. I couldn’t take it seriously after a while.”

“How charming,” he says in a voice that makes it clear that it’s anything but. “Maybe you should go back to it and rely less on other people, hmm?”

By other people he means Raff. His disgruntlement at Raff’s position in my life has increased lately.

“Hmm. And maybe you should keep your opinions to yourself, Bennett.”

My voice is light, but my meaning is unmistakable, and there are a few uncomfortable moments of silence before he finally mutters, “Sorry.”

I repress a sigh. Bennett has become a problem. I’ve been searching for a way to break things off for a few weeks now, but my attempts have been foiled by his flashes of humour that can be quite endearing, and his ability to change the subject.

I first met him at a charity event to raise money for a guide dog centre where he’d been bidding generously. We were introduced by a friend of mine and Bennett had made his attraction to me very clear from the start. I was desperate at the time to escape my unreciprocated feelings for Raff, and Bennett’s attentions were very flattering to my wounded heart.

He was good in another way too. Everyone sees me as Stan—the go-getter and the confident man who takes on all obstacles and wins. That’s a big part of me and who I’m proud to be, but the truth is that underneath this façade I’m not so confident and I feel vulnerable far more times than I’d ever admit to anyone other than Raff.

Bennett had somehow seen that in me though, and by being older and gently commanding, he’d given me a way to switch off my troubled thoughts and be a little vulnerable for once.

It was a pleasant experience to be with him…for a while.

The trouble came when his gently commanding air slowly switched to something more appropriate for a sergeant major on the parade ground. I can’t put my finger on when it changed but that attitude is never going to work for me long term. I left home at eighteen and travelled the world for a year. I’m quite sure that I’m not cut out to be told what to do by anyone, least of all my boyfriend. Bennett likes to be in control, but my blindness is not something he can ever arrange to work properly.

I’ve been putting off ending it because I can’t help but feel guilty.I’mthe one who let this happen. It’s my fault that I drifted for a while allowing him to make some of my decisions while I wallowed in my feelings for Raff. But now I’ve woken up again and it’s too uncomfortable for me to let it go on much longer. I’ve got a feeling that my parting with him is going to be acrimonious. He’s too stubborn for it to happen any other way, and he doesn’t like to lose.

I push those worries away to deal with later. “I thought you were working today,” I say.

“One of my clients cancelled.” His tone sounds irritated. “So, I thought I’d pop in and take you to dinner.”

I grimace. “Ah. Sorry, but I can’t.”

“What? Why?” He sounds affronted, as if he cannot imagine a scenario in life where I shouldn’t be sitting around waiting for his company. He’d have more luck dating a Golden Retriever than a human being.

“I’m going to that concert with Raff,” I say.

He gives an aggrieved sigh, and I bite my lip to hide my smirk. Raff is an easy-going bloke, but he has the ability to irritate Bennett like no one alive. He seems lodged under his skin like a chaotic strawberry-blond tick.

“Why?” Bennett asks.

“Because they’re an excellent band, I like a concert, and I love spending time with Raff.”

“I just can’t understand it. He’s so lightweight and happy.”

His bewildered voice makes me want to smile. He isn’t the first person who Raff has confounded with his temperament. “Is that a character failing now? You’d better tell Disney, if so.”

“His levity forms ninety per cent of his personality. I’m disappointed that you can’t see that, Stan.”

I cock my head as anger stirs. “And I’m disappointed that you’re talking to me like you’re my mother. But then I suppose we can’t always be happy in life.”

There’s a startled pause, and then he says in a sullen voice, “Rafferty is wild and far too charming for anyone’s good. He’s a bad influence on you.”

“What?” I can’t help my surprise. The level of spite in his voice is new and disconcerting. He’s always been so careful to keep it low-key. Probably because he knows I’ll stick up for Raff.

“With him, you do stuff that could be dangerous.”

“Like what?” There’s an edge in my tone that someone normal would pick up on, but Bennett is completely convinced of his own rightness in everything. He wears certainty like a superhero cape.

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