Page 14 of Something Borrowed

I think of how best to describe it. “I often have lots of little lights flickering and moving, and they’re pretty. Pink and purple and green. Flashing stars,” I say in inspiration.

“You have stars in youreyes? That’s wicked. My class went to the planetarium and they showed us the night sky. We didn’t end up seeing much because my friend Sammy stuck a rubber from the gift shop up his nose and got it stuck. He had to go to hospital.”

“I can’t wait to read this school project,” my sister says dryly.

“Okay. I think I have everything I need for now,” says the tiny David Dimbleby. “I think I should draw you now so the class can see what you look like.”

“Make me handsome, please.”

“Will do. Are my crayons still in your office?”

“In the drawer, I think. Kem?”

“Yeah, they’re in there, Wolfie. There’s also a big bag of chocolate buttons in there that Uncle Rafferty left.”

“Epic,” he says, and I hear him run off.

“How is it that Rafferty isn’t the size of a house with that sweet tooth of his?” Lottie asks.

“Copious amounts of shagging,” I offer. The thought of Rafferty and all his men gives me the usual pang, but I chuckle. “It keeps your figure very trim.”

“No wonder he’s slim then,” Kem says. “He was at the Pink Parrot last night kissing one conquest goodbye and leaving with another all in the space of an hour.”

“Fast worker,” my sister says, a distinct note of admiration in her voice.

“Does he have a revolving door in your flat?” Kem asks.

I shrug. “He doesn’t bring them home.”

Something in my voice must alert them that I’m not fond of the topic, because my sister says hurriedly, “And how is Bennett?”

“He’s fine.” I add some enthusiasm to my voice. “Absolutelyfine. He took me to a nice restaurant last night.”

“Well, that’s lovely,” she says with more false cheer than Kate Middleton at a family reunion.

I smirk. “I know you don’t like him.”

“Nonsense. Complete tosh. He’s a very nice man with many good…good qualities.”

“Oh god,” Kem mutters.

I rest my elbows on the counter and turn my head toward her. “Name one.”

“Pardon?”

“Name a good quality that my boyfriend has.”

“Erm.” There’s a silence, and I can practically hear the gears in her brain turning. “He’s very invested in you,” she finally says.

“That’s all you’ve got?” Kem says in astonishment.

“And what does invested mean?” I add. “I’m not a savings account.”

“Well, I just meant that you’re his focus whenever he’s with you, and he really looks after you, Stan.”

“Ugh,” Kem and I say in synch.

“You know I’m not a potted plant, don’t you?” I clarify.

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