Page 111 of Something Borrowed

“Bennett’s nose is certainly big enough,” Lottie says sweetly. “But watch he doesn’t take everyone’s share of the air.”

I lean forward to address Bennett. “Stan’salwayshad attention,” I say through gritted teeth. “He doesn’t need to grab for it with stupid comments like some people I could mention.”

Bennett rolls his eyes. “Oh dear. That was like being bitten by a gerbil.”

Pat holds a hand up, looking alarmed. He hates rows or tension. “Whoa, mate. Don’t diss the world’s small creatures. Gerbil bites can be a serious thing. It might be a small creature, but its teeth are huge. I knew a man who had his penis bitten by one. The damage was freaky, and he definitely didn’t attempt naked yoga after that.”

“Poor Nigel,” Pat’s other lover says, crossing his legs.

“Perhaps you’d have been bitten by one, Bennett,” I say sweetly. “But there isn’t a gerbil microscope strong enough to locateyourdick.”

Wolfie wanders over. “Did someone mention a gerbil bite? I know a lot about them because we have one at school. I don’t think gerbils get rabies, but I will check on that,” he says resolutely. “I’ll ask Grandad.”

“Thank you,” I say, smiling at him as he runs off to the next table. The smile drops away when I turn back to Bennett. “Leave Stan alone,” I warn.

Stan’s hand lands on my thigh, and he squeezes it. I’m not sure whether it’s support or warning. Knowing Stan, it’s probably both. He always sticks up for me, but feels free to slay me afterwards.

“Why should I?” Bennett shoots back. “He doesn’t deserve my loyalty.”

Stan’s head shoots up, but I put my hand on his arm to stay him. “He deserves far more than you ever will as you cruise through life fucking up people left and right. I’m sick of you, bitching and—” I stop and look at Wolfie, but he’s still talkingto Edward about gerbil illnesses. Edward looks a little confused, which is probably due to the amount of wine he’s drunk.

“And how do you intend to stop that?” Bennett sits back, arms folded, a tic going in his cheek. "I’ve been good to him. He’s a responsibility, but I coped. Other men wouldn’t even look at him.”

“Fucking hell,” Lottie mutters, and her husband nudges her quietly.

My mind goes white hot with rage. I’m dimly aware of Stan’s hand on my arm, but I take no notice, all my attention on the twat opposite me. “And that’s where you went wrong,” I say furiously. “Stan isn’t a responsibility. He’severythinggood. He’s loyal, kind, clever, and funny. He’s the best man I’ve ever known.”

I stop talking, sucking in a breath, slowly becoming aware of the silence around us. I realise with a lurch that I’ve been far too loud, and people are watching us.

“Hmm,” I say, and when I hear clapping, I twist around and see that it’s Leo.

“Oh, well done,” he calls. “I’ve been waiting bloody months for that.”

I roll my eyes. “Oh, it’s always about you,” I snap.

He laughs loudly.

I throw my napkin down on the table. “Outside,” I direct Bennett.

“Ibegyour pardon.”

“Ooh! Are you going to be duelling Bennett, Uncle Raff?” Wolfie asks. We all turn to look at him, and he shrugs. “I’ve been doing knights at school, and they duel with big swords.”

“Maybe not with swords,” Lottie says, patting her son’s head. “But Uncle Rafferty’s tongue is very sharp today.”

“It would be better with swords,” Wolfie says wistfully.

I make another get-up gesture at Bennett.

He rolls his eyes and stands up. “Is it pistols at dawn?”

“Do you know that Stan made me watch a documentary on manifesting?” I say conversationally.

He frowns. “Your changes of subject are as ridiculous as your brain.”

“Well, I’m manifesting now. I’m manifesting punching you in the fucking face.”

“Ooh,” Lottie breathes happily.

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