Page 66 of Something Borrowed

“I told wee Charlie Dickens to fuck off and shove his great expectations up his arse.”

“Oh god.”

“Oh, Stan, chillax.”

“Who says that apart from creepy millennials?”

“I’ll be polite.”

“In a spirit of complete honesty, you probably won’t be.”

“Okay, I probably won’t, but I’ll maintain a nice tone of voice when I insult him. Just tell me when you’re dumping him and taking over the care of Rafferty?”

I inhale and end up choking on my own spit. He pats my back briskly. “What? You know you’re the only one who’s up to the job. He’d drive anyone else into an asylum within ten minutes.”

“Tell that to three-quarters of London’s men.”

“It’s probably more than that, given the way that boy has spread himself around over the last few months.” I can’t help but wince and feel him squeeze my hand. “You know it means nothing.”

“Do I?”

“Yes, and you know why, but you bury your head in the sand like a camel.”

“Do they bury their head in sand? Or do you mean ostriches?”

“The bird? Why would they be sticking their heads in the beach?”

I give up. “I’m not sure why you think?—”

“Ssh,” he hisses. “They’re coming back.” Then he says brightly, “Lovely. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for us, Rafferty.”

There’s a pause that can only be described as startled, and I smile. Eventually, Raff says somewhat warily, “Have you been drinking, Leo?”

“Can’t I offer a compliment unless I’m drunk?”

“No,” we all chorus.

He huffs. “I’m not one for idle flim-flam.”

“Or compliments at all,” Rafferty offers.

“But you know I love you both. And so does Richard.”

“I do,” he says obediently.

“You’re just scared to disagree with Leo,” Raff objects.

“Probably. Isn’t everyone?”

“Fair point,” Raff offers.

Someone says Richard’s name, and the next few moments are spent listening to Leo and Richard greet family.

Someone kisses my hair, and I know from the cologne that it’s Leo. “We’re off to greet people. You, okay?”

“Course.”

He moves away, and Rafferty says, “I’m just going to check the bar. Kem will be joining you here at the table, along with Richard’s cousin Sarah and her wife, and Fleur Atkinson with her partner.”

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