Page 46 of Something Borrowed

Errol laughs. “I suppose they mean well.”

“It’s shocking how many people don’t know not to touch a working guide dog. Stan gets taken across the road more times than a chicken, and he never finds it particularly amusing.”

“I think the bloke might be finding that out right about now.”

I grin and head out. As I approach, I hear the stranger tell Stan, “No need to be embarrassed.” He’s using an overly loud voice that some people adopt for blind people.

“I’m not,” Stan says.

“I’ll just help you over. It’s a busy road.”

“Fine,” Stan replies, “But it’s actually a road I don’t want to cross.”

His voice is edging from polite to sharp, but the man isn’t paying attention. It's a shame. His gravestone will likely say,Over-achieving Do-gooder.

“You just come with me,” he tells Stan.

“That sounds rather creepy and not in a good way.”

“Is there a good way?” I ask lightly. “Okay, folks?”

Stan’s lip quirks. “Oh, fine, thank you. All in a day’s work. And sometimes creepy is good. Remember Christian Bale inAmerican Psycho?”

“You’re the only person who finds Patrick Bateman attractive. He literally killed people.”

“Yes, but he cleared up after himself and had excellent grooming skills.”

“He wasn’t a Labrador.”

“I just like a man who brushes his hair. Does that make me picky?”

The stranger blinks, looking between us. “Are you with him?” he asks me. “I’m going to help him over the road.”

“Why are you telling me?” This is another thing that chafes—people who talk to me rather than Stan. As if he lost his comprehension skills along with his sight. “Unless you’rehelping me across the road, too. That would be rather nice. I haven’t had anyone do that since I was five.”

“Not even then,” Stan offers. “Your mum used to stop to flirt with the lollipop man.”

“She did always like a man in uniform.” I pause. “Or any man, really.”

He chuckles.

The man regards us both, and then says to me, “Oh, you can take care of him, then. I’m glad.”

Stan taps his fingers on Hump’s harness. “I think it’s the other way around. Even my guide dog couldn’t work with Raff.”

I shrug. “You could be right.”

“I’ll leave you to it, then,” the man says, quickly exiting stage left.

“Thank you so much for your help,” Stan calls sweetly. “I’m sorry I wasn’t completely incapacitated and couldn’t make you feel all warm about yourself.”

“He’s gone. Don’t be mean. He meant well.”

He gives a dramatic sigh that makes me smile. “Theyalwaysdo.”

“Alright, Pollyanna.”

“Shut up and give me a chocolate button.”

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