Page 94 of We Redeemed the Rain

I swallowed hard as heat spread into my belly.

He continued, “I also told her you aren’t my type, but that’s ‘causeI have zero intentions of ever gettin’ involved with someone and settlin’ down. Family life isn’t for me. I won’t ever be more for anyone. And that’s got nothin’ to do with you bein’ good enough. You are more than good enough and some man some day is gonna be blessed to have you.” His jaw clenched when he finished.

It felt like someone pushed my heart off a cliff. It flopped into my stomach as a sick feeling curled around my throat.

Why?

The word reverberated off the walls of my mind—deafening.

Why would Tag not want…love?

My heart shattered for him.

And also for myself. Because at that moment, as clear as I’ve ever known anything before, I knew my own truth.

I wanted to love Tag.

And maybe I already did. Or maybe I always had and never stopped.

His eyes roamed my face. His expression was so full of pain I wanted to cry.

I took a steadying breath. “Last question. Why did youreallystop writing me?”

He broke eye contact and gave a shaky exhale. “Bea. It’s so?—”

“I deserve to know why I lost my best friend.”

He blurted, “Age.”

“Age?”

“Yes, age. Bea, you were a little girl.” He shook his head. “I never should’ve written you that first letter.”

“Tag—”

“I’m not tryin’ to hurt you. But I do have regrets. I was so desperate to connect withsomeonethat I was willin’ to do something inappropriate?—”

“Nothing about our letters was inappropriate.”

“And that’s why I never told you. ‘Cause I knew you’d disagree.”

“They weren’t!”

“Yeah, they were. I was sharin’ things with you I had no business sharin’ with achild.”

I sputtered, “What—that you were abused?” Theword flew out of my mouth before I could stop it. “I knew what abuse and neglect were.”

“But I shouldn’t have been sharin’ all that withyou. We werenineteenandfifteenat the end of it all.You don’t see a problem with that?”

“If they were love notes, maybe.”

“Answer this question. Did you ever tell your parents about me?”

I shifted. He had me cornered. “No.”

“Why?”

“They would’ve freaked out.”

---