Page 65 of We Redeemed the Rain

“I don't want her to end up taking care of me.”

“Peter, that's not how it works. She’s going to need you and you're going to need her. In different ways, yeah, but that’s part of loving someone. You hold each other up during hard seasons.”

“I just have a hell of a lot of hard seasons.”

“And who’s been there the entire time?”

He gave a soft chuckle. “I hear you. Thanks. I know I’m being stupid.”

“It's not stupid—anyone would have doubts right now because this is a huge change.” I fiddled with the red zipper on the turkey bag. “When is your appointment? I should be there.”

“It's next week. The only person going with me is Sarah. There’s nothing anyone can do. If there’s any bad news, I promise you’ll be one of the first to know.”

“Okay.”

“I want you to enjoy your time. If it wasn’t for Mom guilt-tripping me, I would’ve waited for something concrete before bringing it up.”

“I’m glad you told me.” I felt a little salty I hadn’t known along with the rest of the family, but I didn’t press the issue. I knew now, and that was what mattered. “I love you both so much. What can I do for you guys?”

He took a deep breath, his voice strengthening. “If you would text Sarah and ask about the wedding plans, that’d be great.”

“Of course.”

“It would mean the world to have someone be excited with her. Her family is totally uninvolved per the usual.”

I shook my head at myself. “I should’ve already thought to check in on her. I'm officially the worstbridesmaid ever.”

“You’re fine, Bea. You’ve got your own life and stuff. Don’t feel bad.”

“I’ll text her as soon as we hang up.”

“Thanks, sis.”

“I love you. Please keep me in the loop, okay?”

“I promise I will. Love you too.”

I put the phone down on the counter top, and the strength I’d held in place for Peter’s sake completely dissolved. Tears stormed my eyes with the force of a waterfall. I covered my face with my hands as a stifled sob leaked out. Hadn’t Peter been through enough? Hadn’t Sarah? Would seizures be a concern for the rest of his life?

I couldn’t shake the mental image of him on the bathroom floor. Nausea turned in my gut. If I could take it for him, I would. If I could shoulder the burden for them, I'd already be under it. They deserved a freaking break.

With shaky hands and blurry vision, I sat down and typed out a text to my soon to be sister-in-law.

Me

Sarah, I just talked to Peter. I love you both so much. How are you? If you need someone to talk to, I’m here for you. Just a phone call away. Btw, did you get your dress alterations finished?

The phone buzzed in my hand.

Jerry.

I’d been so distracted since arriving at the ranch, I hadn’t given the contract much consideration. I emailed the contract to my attorney on Friday, but I hadn’t heard back yet.

Buzz.

Suddenly, I imagined myself away—living in a lonely Nashville apartment—while my family needed me. I imagined forcing myself to smile and perform for a crowd while my heart ached to be with the ones I loved. Was music or money or the future worth all that?

Buzz.

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