Page 64 of We Redeemed the Rain

“It's called agrand maland yes.” He sighed again. “It was.”

I sniffled, the words scraping against my vocal chords. “Why? Why would you have a seizure out of the blue?”

“I don't know.”

My brain clawed at the unknown, desperate for an answer. “Is there something that can trigger them?”

“Theoretically, in the moment, there are triggers. It’s possible I was stressed, but…sometimes seizures are a long term side effect of radiation. If that's what we're looking at, there won’t be much we can do except navigate the complications as best we can.”

Peter was a survivor. Someone who had shaken hands with death—twice—and lived to tell the tale. His typically buoyant attitude had taken a hit, the dejection in his voice spoke volumes.

“I’m so sorry, Peter.” I whispered. “Is Sarah okay?”

“She’s—yeah, she’s a little shaken up, but she’s hanging in there.”

“Are you? That’s so much to carry. Especially with the wedding only—what? Eight weeks away?”

He didn’t respond immediately.

“Talk to me, Peter.”

A twinge in his voice, fear creeping in, made my heart ache. His voice was a tender rasp. “I’m worried about Sarah.”

“Shelovesyou.”

“I know, but?—”

“Youcan’tstart doubting that now.”

“I just want her to be happy. I’ve already put her through so much.”

A brief moment of silence passed. I fought back a rising tide of emotions.

“I keep thinking…” His words died off, but I heard what he didn’t say.

Losing strength in my legs, I plopped down on a bar stool. “You have cold feet, don't you?”

“Crap, Bea.” He gave a breathy, humorless chuckle. “This is why I didn’t want to talk to you.”

The deflection attempt was noted and ignored. “Are you having doubts?”

“I don’t know. A little, I guess.” He sighed again, the exhale shaky. “Not because of her. Only because of what we’re up against. The seizure was just icing on the whole damn cake.”

“Oh, Peter.”

“That part stays between us, okay? I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’ll be fine. I think I just need to mentally adjust.”

“Okay.” I pressed my lips together and swiped tears off my cheek. “You guys have twelve years of history. That’s not going to changebecause of a seizure.” The word felt weightless. His concerns were valid. Would the obstacles become tiresome to her?

No. Impossible.Sarah sat through two rounds of radiation with him. She wouldn't do that for nothing.

“Yeah. I hope so.”

“Iknowso. Sarah is everything you need.”

“That’s kind of the problem though, Bea.”

“What is?”

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