Page 12 of Bringing Home the Bad Boy

"Nothing. He tried to pull me under the mistletoe again, but this time... this time, I couldn't. Just couldn't."

"Totally get it. However, I would like to add, for the record, that the man is fine as hell. Gorgeous," Danielle says. "And did you see the size of his... ahem, hands?"

This time, it's my turn to toss a pillow. "Eyes off. Let me worry about the size of his... ahem, hands."

"So, then you're not releasing him from the girlfriend code so that the rest of us can—"

"Not a chance," I cut her off. "I just... I need time to process. I need to figure out if I'm ready for all of this. A relationship is one thing, but a child?" I take another sip of wine. "That's a whole other level of commitment."

"Not to mention," Alix adds carefully, "there's a story there. About the mother."

My stomach clenches. I hadn't even let myself think about that part yet. About who this woman was and what she meant to him. "Yeah."

"But here's the thing," Danielle says, refilling our glasses. "You're already thinking about commitment. About his daughter. About his past. Which means..."

"Which means what?"

"Which means you're not walking away," Alix finishes for her. "Not really. You're just trying to figure out how to move forward."

I stare into my wineglass, watching the deep red liquid swirl. My phone buzzes again—another text from Trace. That makes four, which I haven't read yet.

"Maybe," I admit. "But what if—"

"No, what ifs," Danielle interrupts. "What do you want? Right now, in this moment, what does Noel want?"

The answer comes before I can stop it. "Him. I want him." I look up at my friends, feeling suddenly vulnerable. "But I'm terrified that wanting him means signing up for heartbreak all over again."

"Or," Alix says softly, "it means signing up for everything you've ever wanted."

My phone buzzes again. Five messages now.

"Are you going to read those?" Danielle asks, nodding at my phone.

I wrap my fingers around it, feeling its weight. "I don't know."

And I don't. Because reading those messages means making a choice about whether I'm ready for this new version of Trace. About whether I can handle being not just a girlfriend but potentially something more to a little girl who's potentially already lost one mother—

I freeze. Wait. Where had that thought come from? I don't even know if Jelena's mother is in the picture. I don't know anything about the situation at all.

Because I'd run before asking any questions.

"Earth to Noel," Danielle waves her hand in front of my face. "Where'd you go?"

"I was just thinking..." I pull out my phone, staring at the notifications. "Maybe the real question isn't whether I'm ready for all this."

"Oh?" Alix raises an eyebrow.

"Maybe the real question is whether I'm ready to find out."

I look at the phone. I haven't answered but haven't put it down either. Five messages. Five chances to move forward instead of back.

Chapter 6

"I'm stepping out," I tell Rosalee, grabbing my jacket. "Won't be long."

She looks up from where she's braiding Jelena's hair, concern etching her features. "Everything okay?"

"Fine." I shrug into my jacket, avoiding her gaze.

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