Page 94 of Love Me Reckless

“We’ll have to cover it.” She makes eye contact with the saleswoman hovering just inside the dressing room entryway. “Fix this.”

“No,” I say.

Mom has already brushed past me to corner the saleswoman. “You can have a panel added or something, right? Or a band across her back that will cover it up. Maybe with a bow.”

My stomach tightens and my breaths whoosh in my throat. I think of Sawyer’s deep brown eyes, so steady and calm.

“We’re not altering the dress,” I say, louder this time.

Grandma Dora takes both of my hands and smiles. “I like it.”

Mom gives an impatient huff. “You would. Does Birch know about this?”

“Not yet,” I say. He’s been gone a lot, and it’s not like he takes much notice of me anyway.

Mom’s face pales.

Grandma Dora sends Mom a soft smile. “Lots of kids have tattoos these days.”

“Kirilee is not ‘lots of kids.’ She’s a St. Claire.” She narrows her eyes. “Just wait until your father finds out.”

“What’s he going to do, call off the wedding?” GrandmaDora says with a shake of her head. “I think it’s time you both honored Kirilee’s choices.”

My heart warms. I squeeze Grandma’s hands.

Mom jams her fists against her hips and glares at Grandma Dora. “You do not get to make me feel bad about this.” She looks to me, her expression softening, like she’s pleading with me. “You know I’m right, don’t you? This was a mistake. A… wild impulse.”

“I wanted it, Mom. For a long time.” I turn slightly so I can catch my bird’s extended wing in the mirror’s reflection. I think of her soaring above the treetops, guided by the cool wind and her sharp instincts.

“Did you do it for Birch? Do you think… he wants this?”

I inhale a slow breath and look my mom in the eye. “I did it for me.”

Back in the dressing room, I slip off the dress and hand it to the saleswoman. “It’s beautiful on you,” she says with a concerned gaze.

“Thanks.”

She steps from the room. I should feel victorious for standing up for myself—to my mom, of all people—but I don’t. I feel empty.

The night before the wedding,I can’t sleep. My gut is queasy and my mind refuses to settle. Being careful not to wake Birch, who is breathing deeply next to me, at three o’clock I get up and make myself tea with milk, but it tastes sour.

I drift through the house. Everything is dark and quiet, the only sound coming from the air vents. I go up to the fitness room, but the workbench and machines look frightening in the darkness. Like carcasses, or torture devices. I return to the living room and curl up on the couch facing the giant window with my book, but I can’tconcentrate.

On the side table is an award Birch won. It looks like a tall glass castle. FOR EXCELLENCE IN RENEWABLE ENERGY. The name beneath it is something called GENRENU.

It’s one of Birch’s subsidiary companies. Curious, I pick up my phone and open the web browser. The first link leads to their website. I skim the information about wind energy, but it’s stuff I already know thanks to the China trip. I return to the main search results page and skim down to a story in Earth.org about something called “Greenwashing.”

The journalist gives ten examples of companies who “mislead the public by falsely touting themselves as being eco-champions.” From the opening paragraph, it sounds like a deceitful way of advertising that a company is more sustainable than it actually is.

What is GENRENU doing in a story like this?

The list includes gas companies, soft drink companies, a popular coffee and tea business, an automobile giant, and in the number six spot is GENRENU.

“Kirilee, what are you doing?”

I jolt, and my phone tumbles to the floor. “You scared me.”

Birch walks closer. “Are you all right?” He stoops down to pick up my phone, a concerned look on his face.

---