Page 55 of Love Me Reckless

The salesman arrives. “You guys finding what you need?”

“We’re good, thank you,” I say as Sawyer closes the door in my face.

While Sawyer finishes getting dressed, I practically skip to the register. By the time I’m finished paying, Sawyer arrives, cheeks flushed and his hair that sexy finger-combed swoop over his brow.

“Enjoy your visit,” the salesman says to Sawyer as he hands me the shopping bag.

“Thank you,” I say, and head for the door.

Outside, Sawyer is quiet.

“We can drop this off at the car, if you want?” I ask.

He sighs.

I give him a glance, but he won’t look at me. Uh oh.

We walk in silence down the next block, and the next. “You don’t have to use a different name. I just thought?—”

“You’re right, it’s not a lie that will hurt anyone.”

The silence stretches between us again. “You don’t have to go through with my idea.”

“It’s not that.” He stuffs his hands in his pockets. “You didn’t need to buy all this stuff for me.”

I risk a quick glance, but he’s looking at the pavement, his face tense.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

At my car, I click the hatch open and set my bag from Luxe & Lush and Sawyer’s bag in the back.

“I just wanted to do something nice for you.” I glance at him as I shut the hatch.

“Just being yourself is plenty nice.” His soft brown eyes turn earnest. “I’ll take that over fancy gifts any day.”

I lean my hip against the back of my car and cross my arms. “When I was at Brown, there were kids who pretended to be my friend because of my family’s money. It got kind of hard to tell who was being sincere, actually. And I like being generous. But people took advantage of it. One girl actually stole from me. I let her crash at my place one night and when I woke up, she’d stolen my laptop. And most of my clothes.”

Sawyer winces. “Shit, that sounds awful.”

“Stuff like that happened a couple of times. So, I just stopped being friends with people.”

“Were you lonely?”

I look away because the truth is I’m lonely a lot. “The point I’m getting to is that I like doing nice things for my friends. My true friends.” I watch his face. Does he understand? “I don’t know that I could tolerate having money if I couldn’t share.”

The text message Birch sent me about the house I wanted to buy for my community art center flickers in the back of my mind. “And I don’t know how much longer I’ll have that kind of freedom.”

His expression darkens. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That preschool building I wanted to buy… Birch said no.”

I expect him to remind me of his idea to get a loan myself, but instead, he huffs a slow sigh. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

A lump hardens in my throat, but I swallow it down. “In the time it took me to work up the nerve to get my own loan, that house sold.”

Sawyer grimaces, but his eyes stay locked with mine. “You’ll find something else.”

I try to soak up his kindness and how gentle he’s being with me.

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