Page 46 of Love Me Reckless

Kirilee coughs. She reaches for a lime and sucks on it. “Woo. That’s really strong.”

Sofie downs the rest of hers and fans herself. “Whoa.” She grabs a lime as Ava eyes Kirilee.

“Ready?”

The two down the last of their shot and set the empty glass down. While they race off to the dance floor, I flag the waiter down and slip him my credit card.

When I turn away, something in the mirror above the bar catches my eye. My pulse throbs in my ears as I slowly spin, bracing myself.

But the guy turning to face me, like he’s sensed me staring, isn’t Sheldon.

I look away, relief sinking through me. There’s no way Shel is here, but for that brief moment, I relived the last time we said goodbye, the things we said to each other. And didn’t say.

On the dance floor, Zach is spinning Sofie around while Kirilee and Ava dance close together, their light-up hats making them easy to spot. I move to the side wall so I can keep a careful watch.

When the song ends, Ava and Kirilee weave to the front of the stage, and Ava beckons to the lead singer, an older guy in a cowboy hat and black Western shirt and jeans. I love the gentle way he smiles at them, like he knows he’s in on the party, and how he nods and steps back to consult his band.

To my surprise, when the song starts, it’s one I remember from the radio station that was always on in the train yard garage.

Kirilee spots me and hurries over. “Dance with us!”

I let her take my hand and tug me to the center of the floor, the music a pleasant throb in my ears. Kirilee’s hand is so small in mine, and practically hot to the touch. A shiver rolls through my belly.

The three of us jump around in our little circle, singing along. I twirl Kirilee then Ava, both of them laughing, their cheeks rosy from dancing and smiling so much.

When my mom was alive, she used to dance with me. Her favorite song would come on and she’d drop whatever she was doing and pull me to my feet. The trailer wasn’t spacious but that didn’t matter. I remember how her face would flush and her eyes would light up. “Girls love a boy who can dance,” she would say with a smile. In those moments, it was easy to forget that we were always broke or that Shel was in trouble at school or that mom’s boss was harassing her again.

The girls must know the next song because they both squeal and clutch each other tight. It’s a sappy love song but it’s catchy, and the lyrics hit home in a way that makes my chest feel tight.Do I make you feel like dancin’ real slow… Baby I need to know.

Kirilee sings along, her wavy curls all around her face as she sways her hips and spins like she doesn’t have a care in the world. It’s devastating to think that her future looks nothing like this. Her husband will never take her to a bar for a night of dancing and carefree fun. He’ll never beg to know what’s on her mind, and he’ll never put her needs above his own.

The crushing weight of it lands heavy inside my heart, making me wince.

Like Zach said, we can’t change the course of her life.

But I can stand by her, make sure she never dampens that light of hers.

Not for anyone.

She grabs my hands and swings them side to side as she belts out the lyrics. I spin her around, her hair fanning out, framing her gorgeous face. The song ends, and I pull her to me. Both of us arebreathing hard, our bodies warm from the dancing and the heat of so many bodies in such a small space.

“Thanks for being a part of this,” Kirilee says softly in my ear.

“Thanks for including me.” The rise and fall of her panting breaths brings her body into contact with mine. Desire for more flickers to life inside me. It feels so good to have her close. It makes me want things—things I can’t have.

I groan inwardly as the desire grows heavy and thick in my veins.

Because this night will end the way it should—with Kirilee safely tucked away with her friends, and me in my room, alone.

By the time we close down the bar, Zach and I have managed to get the girls to drink several glasses of water. I settle the tab and the bartender gives me a grin. “You take care now,” he says, nodding at the rest of my party tucked into a booth. “What a sweetheart.”

I glance in the mirror. Kirilee’s face is animated as she argues with Ava about something, then she erupts in a fit of laughter, leaning against Sofie.

“She is,” I say.

Back at the booth, I rap my knuckles on the table. “Okay, gang, time to mosey.”

“Nooo,” Kirilee groans while Zach pulls Sofie to her feet. “We’re still having fun.”

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