Page 160 of Love Me Reckless

He thrusts again, harder this time, his grip tightening around my thighs. The cold wall at my back coupled with the heat from his body, our skin slippery from the water, creates the most incredible sensations. Like I’m dancing in the rain or falling through stars.

I wrap my arms around his neck and grip him with my thighs, holding him close as I come undone. My heart is a spinning top, zipping faster and faster, the colors around me turning vivid and sharp.

“That’s it, give me everything,” Sawyer grits out.

I bury my face in his neck, my cries amplified by the tight space. The tension inside me breaks loose, sending quivers down my thighs and heat prickles across my skin. Pleasure melts through me bright and so wonderfully sweet. Sawyer comes in a series of firm thrusts, impaling me against the cold wall, until his body goes still and we hold each other tight, the pounding of his heart synching with mine.

He gulps a ragged breath as aftershocks judder through him. Carefully, he sets me on my feet. The hollow between my thighs gives an almost painful ache that coils up through me, making it impossible for me to let him go. He wraps his arms around me as a sob rattles his frame.

“It’s okay,” I say. “Give me everything.”

He cries softly into my hair as the water crashes on the tiles and I hold him tight. When he’s spent, he tips my chin and lowers to kiss me, his lips plush and thick against mine, the tenderness so rich and precious. I kiss him back, embracing his lip with mine, drawing a groan from deep inside him.

We get out of the shower and he dries me with the big, fluffy towels, exhaustion edging his eyes, then leads me to the big bed. Under the covers, he pulls me to him, rolling my hip against his and urging my thigh across him. We caress and touch in the darkness, the heat building slowly between us.

“I came so close to losing you today.” He presses his lips to my forehead.

I wrap my arm tighter around him. “I can’t help thinking the same thing.”

He releases a long breath, his fingertips grazing my lower back.

“Sheldon’s done this kind of thing before, hasn’t he?” I ask.

“Never as bad as this, but yeah.”

“That must hurt so much.”

“I should have put a stop to it long ago.”

This feels like an old narrative. A sensitive one. “Could you have?”

“Our mom’s death is my fault.”

The words sound dull in my ears, like he’s talking from some faraway place. Sharing this must be so painful, bringing these old memories into the light. Offering them to me like fragile, broken pieces of his deepest, darkest place.

I prop myself on my elbow so I can see his face. “How can that be? You were so young.”

He releases a shaky breath, his eyes refusing to meet mine. “When Shel came to town, he threatened to tell you. It’s what he always does when he’s really hard up. I should have told you then. I should have told you long ago. Instead I was desperate to hide it from you. So much so that I put you in danger.”

I stroke his shoulder. “This sounds like a heavy burden.”

Finally, he looks at me, the usual calm in his eyes edged with grief and sadness. “The night Mom died, Shel’s dad had come around. Wes never liked me, and the feeling was mutual. I took off and got wasted with my friends. But something happened that night. She was such a little thing. And I wasn’t there to protect her.”

The pain he’s experiencing rattles through me. “That’s how she died?”

“Yeah. Wes went to prison, but I’ve always blamed myself.”

“Because you weren’t there?” I caress his face. “Sawyer, you were so young.”

“I tried to take care of Shel,” he says like he hasn’t heard me. His eyes turn glassy. “To make it up to him. But he never got over it. And now he’s gone.”

“Why would you feel the need to hide this from me?”

“I’m afraid you’ll see me for who I really am,” he says in the darkness.

“But… I already do,” I say. I kiss him softly, showing him with my heart that it’s okay to let this go. He closes his eyes and combs my long hair from my shoulders. I plant soft kisses down his neck to his chest, shifting my position so I’m between his thighs. His chest is firm and warm against my lips. I move lower, caressing and kissing past his navel, the soft line of hair tickling my nose. His erection stiffens between my breasts, sending a hot flush of desire down my thighs, drawing everything tight inside me.

Sawyer releases a needy purr. “Kirilee,” he says, his tone sharp with longing.

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