Page 78 of Love Me Reckless

As much as it kills me to see her upset, does she ever allow herself to feel like this? To let her guard down?

“Is it the fall that scares you? Or the risk of making a mistake?”

Her eyes flash. “Neither.”

I brush a stray hair from her face. “Then what is it, sweetheart? What’s holding you back?”

She blinks and inhales a shaky breath. “That I’ll end up alone.”

I hold her gaze so she knows it’s safe to share this with me. “I’m sorry. That’s a really awful thing to fear.” It tears me up inside that she feels this way. And it’s not even true. How could she end up alone when so many wonderful people love and care for her? But maybe this has to do with a deeper fear, one rooted in the way she was raised to believe that she’s only worth her parents’ love if she fits their mold.

Fuck, that hurts.

“Kirilee?”

I look behind us. Brydeen is hurrying our way, a determined expression on her face.

Kirilee steps back. “Is something wrong?”

“Leif’s seven o’clock just canceled. Do you want it?”

Kirilee locks eyes with me as a smile slowly brightens her face. “Hell yes, I want it.”

Back in the shop, we’re ushered to Leif’s station. He’s smiling, his eyes bright, like he’s thrilled at this turn of events.

“We’ll print a stencil of what we worked on, so go ahead and get comfortable.”

While Leif gets busy preparing the stencil and setting up, Kirilee rolls up her tank top again and lays on her side.

I stroke her hair from her face, caressing her forehead with my thumb. What I’ve just learned about her is crushing me inside. I wantto promise her that she’ll never be alone. No matter what happens—whether she decides to leap into that unknown or play it safe—I’ll be there for her. Even if I have to do it from the sidelines.

Our eyes lock and she reaches out for my hand.

“Tell me about yours,” she says while Leif flicks on his extra light source.

“The first few minutes are the hardest, but then your skin kind of adjusts and it won’t hurt as much.”

Leif slips on his nitrile gloves and settles onto his stool. After a gentle wash with an antiseptic cloth, he carefully adds the stencil to her skin. While it sets, he gives Kirilee a rundown: how he’ll work on the less sensitive areas first, how she can ask for a break if she needs it. He ends his pep talk with a warning not to move.

“Ready?” He places a hand on her shoulder.

Kirilee glances at him and releases a slow breath. “Yeah.”

He adds a thin layer of ointment so the needle can move easier. The burr of the machine shocks her a little, and she laughs.

I lock eyes with her. “Take a couple of breaths, nice and easy. Tell your body it’s okay.”

Kirilee complies, her gaze tense with determination.

“Here we go,” Leif says.

Kirilee’s face twists in pain and she tightens her grip on my hand.

“You got this,” I say.

She releases a slow breath. “Tell me about when you were little.”

“Why?”

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