Page 26 of Love Me Reckless

“You think he’s okay?”

I should stop worrying about my half-brother and where he might be. What mess he might be in the middle of. But old habits die hard. “He hasn’t come to me, so I don’t really know.”

Another reason I’m ready to leave Alaska.

“Does it feel weird leaving?”

“A little, yeah,” I reply. “Like I’m leaving my family behind.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Zach tosses a pebble. It arcs over the cliff and out of sight. “But your mom wouldn’t want you to stay stuck there.”

“True.”

I’ll visit her grave one last time, make sure she’s ready for winter. I wish I could count on Sheldon to take care of her when I leave, but I stopped counting on Shel long ago.

I’ve never hadan actual vacation. After Mom died and Sheldon and I ended up in foster care, I’ve worked at least one job, sometimes two without fail and without a break. I don’t ever want to be poor like we were when I was growing up. A vacation always seemed foolish.

But leaving Alaska, I treat myself to the ferry instead of driving through Canada, even though the ticket costs more than the plane trip last month to attend Zach’s swearing-in ceremony. I’ve never been to Alaska’s Inside Passage or driven my pickup outside of McKenzie Valley. Mostly because I’d have to bring my tools—my Dodge has seen plenty of miles, and while I take meticulous care of her, she still fails me now and then. Another reason to take the ferry and not risk a long drive through rural Canada.

I’ve met travelers who come to Alaska on the ferry. Backpackers who camp on the deck, using duct tape to secure their tents to the concrete. Sleeping under the stars while the boat plows the arctic waters and the midnight sun arcs across the sky.

It’s a little surreal to be joining those ranks.

After dropping my duffel on a lounge chair in the solarium on the bow deck, I stroll down the port side to the back of the boat to watch the last of the loading.

My phone rings and I slip it from my back pocket. It’s an unknown number. I stare at it for an instant, worry creeping into my gut. Sometimes that’s how it starts with Shel—a random call from a random number. Or he shows up out of the blue.

“Hello?” I say as the last car drives onto the ferry, and they close the gates.

“Sawyer?”

My heart jolts. “Kirilee?”

Below me, deckhands get to work securing the deck and untying from the giant cleats.

“How are you?” she asks.

“I’m on the Alaska Ferry. On my way down the Inside Passage.”

“Ohh, that’s exciting!”

I laugh. “I’ll send you a picture of some glaciers.”

“I would love that.”

I wince.She’s seen glaciers before, stupid!

“How’s the list coming along?” I ask to switch gears.

“That’s why I’m calling,” she says with a bit of sass in her tone that makes my breath catch in my throat. “I got permission to build my community art center and the little libraries.”

I grit my teeth—permission? “That’s great.”

“And the bachelorette party. It’s actually happening!” She laughs, and I wish I could see her. She’s so pretty when she smiles.

A wave of heat rises through my chest. I rub my sternum, but it doesn’t help.

“But only if you can make it,” she says, her tone earnest. “I know it’s late notice, but it didn’t come together until today because I was so busy getting ready for Autumn Fest and Ava was in the middle of her first pediatrics rotation and then her apartment got broken into, and Zach was on nights, but… it’s November sixth and seventh. Please say you can be there.”

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