Page 115 of Love Me Reckless

I bend to the sink for a rinse, and when I glance up, he’s pulling something out of my toiletry bag.

It’s my little wedge-shaped vibrator and the bottle of caramel-scented lubricant from my bachelorette party.

His eyes lock on mine. “Invigorating way to start your day.”

I try to play it cool but a hot blush eats up my neck. “It’s not how I start my day.”

“Why not?”

I can’t meet his eyes. “I actually… haven’t used those yet.”

He steps closer. “Why is that? Douche date got some kind of hangup?”

“I don’t know.”

“So… he’s not in on the fun.”

I shake my head.

Compassion fills his eyes. “It’s more than that, isn’t it? He’s never taken care of you.”

“Let’s just forget it,” I say in a rush, grabbing his hand to lead him back to the bed. I don’t want to talk about this right now, not when we could be making up for all the time we’ve already lost.

But my arm pulls taut, like he’s put down roots, and I jerk to a stop. “Kirilee.”

I risk a glance. The planes of his face have gone hard, his gaze heavy with longing.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” I say.

He pulls me to him and gently wraps his arms around my waist. He rests his forehead against mine. “It matters to me.”

“Why? It’s over.”

“That’s for fucking sure. He’s never going to hurt you again.” He leans down to kiss the hard knob of my shoulder, his lips so smooth. It’s difficult to reconcile such tenderness with the hard edge in his tone. Yet isn’t that what I love about him? That he’s so confident, yet caring? An iron shell guarding the sensitive insides he only shares when he’s ready.

“He didn’t hurt me.”

Sawyer kisses the curve of my neck, sending tingles everywhere. “That stunt with the dress didn’t hurt? Whisking you off to China so you missed spending Christmas with your friends didn’t hurt? How about him denying your pleasure? Don’t tell methatdidn’t hurt.”

I try to wriggle free but he’s not letting me go. “I thought if I was good to him, and became a good wife to him, it would be enough. That I’d be enough.”

He kisses up my neck, to behind my ear. “You’ve always beenenough. But not by being someone’s version of good. By beingyou. Just you andonlyyou. Exactly as you are.”

The words are like icicles pricking my skin. “Sawyer,” I manage, the word like a croak.

He spins me around, so I have no choice but to see my troubled face in the reflection and his determined grimace. “The way you light up every room. The way you care for the people you love. Your incredible kindness. Your resilience. Your delight in other people’s happiness. Your generosity.”

He plants a soft kiss to my temple, his eyes closing, as if in reverence. “Your passion.”

“It’s not… too much?” Emotions from deep inside me rise to a steady buzzing in my chest as our gazes connect in the reflection.

“Only to the people who don’t understand.” He watches me a moment longer, then plucks the little vibrator and flips it on.

He arches an eyebrow.

I look away, my blush returning with a vengeance.

He glides the flat end of the toy up my thigh, making me jump.

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