Page 80 of Entwined Hearts

“Goddamn it,” I growl. I can’t take this anymore.

I hate that she’s with Jake. She should be with me.

I recall last night when she went to bed alone. Did I bring this on myself? Does she not trust me? I think about how she shared her sketches with me—that has to mean something. But then she heard Jake’s stupid story about Emmaline—Emmaline, of all the things to be pissed about, fuck!—and found Patricia’s card in my pocket. It makes me realize she has every right to pull back from me.

I groan, knowing I’ve fucked this up somehow. I should never have taken her to bed that night in the Buttermilks.

The thought tears at me. There’s no way I could have stopped myself, though. I’ve wanted her for too long.

But what if I’m hurting her? What if the way I’ve been treating her is driving her away?

I don’t know what she wants from me.Well, she obviously likes fucking me.I groan again, remembering the way she gave herself to me, her cries of pleasure filling my ears. Our conversation—about tying her up—replays in my head. God, she looked so sexy—her eyes wide with wonder and surprise. It’s like I could see her heart beginning to open.

So why is she up there with Jake?

He’ll probably want to get back together someday, she’d said. Is that someday happening right now?

My insides cramp like I’ve eaten wood chips. Why haven’t I fought for her?

Because you’re a pussy,a voice inside my head blares. A quiver of nerves bottoms out in my core, tightening my chest.

On the wall, Anya starts climbing again. My gaze follows her every move. I can’t see her face, and it kills me. Is she in pain? Is she scared?

“Thought I’d find you here,” a familiar voice says behind me.

I turn to see Kabir holding a small cooler and a camp chair. “How’re they doing?”

I hug my friend like the lifeline he is. I fill him in on the recent rockfall and Anya’s injury.

He pulls out his binoculars, then scans the face. “Doesn’t look like it’s slowing her down.”

I watch Anya, too, and realize he’s right. Maybe I’m jumping to conclusions.

“I thought they’d be through this section by now.”

“Me too,” I reply.

“You okay?” He’s still watching Anya.

Sneaking a glance down the row of bystanders, I catch sight of Jo talking with the other group of climbers. “What do you mean?”

“I just don’t get why she’s up there with him of all people.”

“He’s a good climber,” I say with a shrug of unconcern I don’t feel.

“Fuck that,” Kabir says. “Tell me it’s not eating at you.”

“She can climb with whomever she wants.”

“Is that really how you feel?”

Fuck no. “Yes,” I say instead.

He raises an eyebrow.

“What am I supposed to do? Lock her up?”

Kabir snorts.

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