Page 13 of Entwined Hearts

To my horror, he pulls me into a soft embrace. My mind turns over a thousand memories: our first kiss, our first climb, the moment I knew we had become more than friends, the first time he touched me. We’ve come to an end. No more firsts. I try to savor the feel of his body, his scent, his warmth, but I’m shutting down.

“What about Norway?” I ask.

“We’ll still climb together,” he says, pulling back and giving me a scoffing smile. “We make a perfect team, right?”

This is true, though it will never be the same now. My ribs contract, like a black hole sucking into itself.

“I’m going to head back,” he says gently.

I grit my teeth because I know what he’s implying. He wants to go home alone. This suits me fine as I’m not about to watch him dismantle our life.

“I’ll get a ride with someone,” I say.

“Great,” he replies. The relief in his eyes nearly breaks me all over again.

As if in a fog, I watch Jake step away from me. “Be brave,” he says, then turns and walks through the living room, his farewells to the other guests he passes sounding almost cheerful.

I’m not sure how long I stand at the edge of the sink while the noise from the party swirls around me.

Across the living room, a hallway connects to the garage, where Kabir has built an artificial climbing wall out of plywood and brightly colored plastic grips bolted down in irregular intervals. The garage lights give the area a bright glow. As if drawn by a tractor beam, I drift toward it.

Once inside the garage, I see Kabir’s drill on a workbench opposite the wall that extends from the ground to the ceiling—about twelve feet up and sloping backward slightly. The wall is intended to be used for short bursts that are known in the climbing world as “boulder problems” which simulate a real climb. Usually, these problems include impossible holds or sprint moves that wouldn’t work on a big wall or sport climb because they’d use up too much energy or are guaranteed to result in a fall. Beneath the wall is the obligatory crash pad made of dense foam.

By the time my friends find me, my fingertips are bleeding. My arms are also on fire.

“Anya?” Jo’s voice says from the ground. “I thought you’d gone home,” she says, sounding bewildered.

I am mid-pump for a hold just out of reach. I leap off my toes and grab it, but like the other ten times I’ve tried to stick it, as soon as my body swings into space, my fingers peel off the sloping hold that’s slippery with my sweat despite all the chalk I’ve put on my hands. I roar in frustration as I fall, landing on my feet on the crash pad.

I force a deep breath into my chest, then try to tuck back my hair, but my fingers are clammy with chalk grime and blood. I’m sick of it getting on my face.

“I saw Jake leave, and I just assumed you’d left with him.”

“No, he…needed to go.”

“Without you?” Jo asks.

“He’s…moving out,” I say.

Her brown eyes go wide. “What?”

Kabir leans into the doorway. “Anya? Where’s Jake?”

Jo gives him a sharp look.

“What?” After glancing back and forth between us, he ducks back into the house.

“You want to stay with us tonight?” Jo asks after he’s gone.

“No,” I say, then realize I sound rude. “Thank you, though.” I step off the thick crash pad, then pick up my sandals. When I slip by Jo, I see that the living room is empty, the lights off. Had I been in the garage that long?

I hear a voice from the backyard and turn to see two shadows moving, scooping up plates and tossing bottles into a recycle bin. It’s Colby and Kabir, chatting while they work, the soft glow from the Christmas lights strung along the back fence illuminating their faces. Then, each picks up a bin and carries it to the side of the house, their laughter echoing after them.

“Seriously, what happened, Anya?” Jo says behind me. “Was it because…you had a flashback? If so, that’s shitty.”

I shake my head, but I’m unable to revisit my conversation with Jake. “We’re just going to take some time apart, is all.”

“Oh,” Jo says, her expression filling with relief.

---