Page 31 of Yours

He slides his hand inside the front of my jeans and underwear, his fingers dipping to the top of my sex.

“Stop!” I yell and push his shoulders back with all my might. His hand comes out of my pants, and he rolls enough so that I can spin away. Halfway to the floor, I feel his hands on my waist and swing back a foot, hard, connecting with his chest. Cory makes a sound as I land on all fours and hurry to my feet. Now I’m scared. Nobody knows I’m down here. Nobody knows I’m with Cory. I think of my roommate—would she even think to look for me here if I didn’t come home?

“What the fuck was that for?” he barks, wincing.

I hope I haven’t hurt him, not really, but I had to do something to get away from him. “I’d like to go home.” I realize how stupid I’ve been, putting myself in this position.

“Fucking tease,” he hisses, hugging his side.

I feel the room start to fade away.No, that’s not me. It can’t be me.Feeling my feet move though not quite understanding what I’m doing, I step around the back of the couch and grab my coat. Thankfully my mittens and hat are tucked into the pockets. I back to the stairway, wanting to keep my eyes on him. If he tries to attack me, I have no weapon, no defense.

His accusing eyes glare at me.

But I’m already tucking into the stairway and hurrying to the door.

Eleven

Brian

Ithrow another log on the fire and sip whiskey from my enamel cup. After six hours trudging around in the woods, Higgs and I failed to get a deer. I was up here months ago and saw plenty. They must know it’s hunting season. The campfire crackles and pops, warming my face and soggy boots.

Higgs is scraping the last of the chili into his mouth then sits back against the log we dragged over and sighs. “We’ll have better luck tomorrow,” he says.

“Or not,” I say, looking up at the bright stars. One thing I love about being up here is how clear the air is and how quiet the night feels. I couldn’t live up here all the time though, I’d go stir crazy. But it would be nice to have deer meat this winter. One year we both got a buck; that was a lot of venison for one person.

All day I’ve been thinking about what I learned from that girl, Stacy, and what it means. I have a sudden idea. “You went to Willow Creek High School,” I say. “You remember Milton’s girl, Darcy?”

Higgs stirs the fire and adds another log from the pile we brought in the back of my truck. “Yeah,” he replies, then settles back against the log and pulls his whiskey to his chest.

“Did kids used to tease her?”

“Probably,” he said. “But kids tease each other all the time.” Higgs sips his whiskey. “I was four years ahead of her, so I don’t really know much.” He glances at me. “Want me to ask my little brother? He’d be closer to her age.”

I wonder if I should pry like this. It makes me feel dishonest. But Darcy’s past is eating at me.

I shuffle my boots in the hard dirt. “Sure, if you think about it.”

I feel Higgs’ eyes on me but hunch my shoulders, as if I’m cold.

The next morning I’m cooking eggs and sausage in the frigid, morning air, my fingers like wood. Higgs is taking down the tent, shaking the frost from the fly before stuffing it with the rest of the parts into a nylon stuff sack.

The percolator burbles to life and I pull it from the grill, practically burning my hands because I can’t feel them until it’s too late.

“Coffee’s up,” I grunt, and Higgs ambles over the frozen ground, hitching up his pants. He pulls up a chair, and I hand him a plate heaped with hot food. We eat in silence for a moment as the fire crackles and the food scalds our tongues.

“Heard from Gino,” he says. “He’s a year younger than her, but yeah, he remembers her having a rough go.”

I swallow a bite of piping-hot sausage. “Did he say why?”

He shoves a bite of eggs around on his plate. “No, but I can guess.” Higgs gets quiet, seeming to chew on his bite longer than he needs to.

“That chick in the bar told me that her mom was a working girl.”

“It’s true,” Higgs says in a quiet voice.

I set my plate down in my lap. “Damn.”

“It’s pretty fucked up, if you think about it.”

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