Page 42 of Yours

Brian watches me carefully for a moment. “You okay?” he asks.

I nod, though avoiding kids like Joey Spinks is why I’ve spent my summers away and why I didn’t consider any colleges closer to home. Could it be that all of that is simply…over? That I no longer have to be afraid?

I try to get my mind back into socializing, but thankfully, Brian seems to realize I’m ready to go. He pays our tab and gets our coats. At the door, he helps me into mine, and in that moment, I catch Joey watching me. He raises his beer and offers me a sort of gentle, sad smile.

Then Brian is opening the door, and the two of us step into the night.

“Wow,” Brian says after I share the encounter with him during the chilly drive back to his place. “How did that feel?” he asks me.

I feel my face scowl. “I don’t know,” I say. “I mean, it was such a surprise. I used to hit my pillow at night, pretending it was him.”

Brian’s eyebrow arches up. “Remind me not to make you mad,” he teases.

I know he’s trying to make me smile, but I can’t quite get there.

He pulls me closer to him so our thighs touch, and I can feel his warmth spread into me.

“But, I don’t know, it felt good, I guess,” I say. “It doesn’t make what they did okay,” I add, thinking of the way the words they used still rattle around in my head. “I didn’t know that he was going through a hard time.” I sigh, and inside me, it’s like I can feel a knot loosening, making it easier to breathe. Maybe I’ll understand it more someday.

We arrive at Brian’s apartment, and he turns off the truck.

“See?” he says, reaching for my hand. “There’s no need to hold on to it. I know it’s hard and what they did wasn’t right, but it’s in the past.”

Is it really that easy?I wonder.

“It’s time you let go and be the person you were meant to be.”

“What if I don’t know who that person is?” I say.

His left eyebrow shoots up. “Can I tell you what I see?” he asks. He strokes the side of my face, combing my hair over my shoulder. “I see a gorgeous, young woman with a heart as big as the sky and a sharp, curious mind, who is creative, and hardworking, and caring.” He trails his fingertips down my arm, sending a rush of shivers through me. His words pour into my brain. I feel them try to figure out where to go. “I also see a woman who wants the freedom to explore, a woman eager to learn about herself.”

He gazes at me with such fierceness that my emotions swirl inside me. While part of me knows he’s right, another part is still that shy girl who’s protected herself for so long.

“Do you trust me?” he asks.

My heart flutters a little, scared because I know what he’s asking. He wants me to give in to him, and I feel that worrying part of myself warn that what we’re about to do is wrong. But I do trust him, and a growing part of me can’t deny the way I feel when we’re together.There’s nothing wrong with two people making each other feelgood. Maybe it’s not wrong. Maybe trusting him to show me is the key to letting go.

“Yes,” I say, practically shaking with the energy zipping through me.

He kisses me, long and slow, his lips tugging at mine. Our tongues dance and tease. He grips the back of my neck possessively and pulls me closer. We kiss, his lips strong and urgent against mine. Quickly, I lose track of my surroundings as my heart begins to pound. My lips tingle, and I’m practically gasping for breath when he pulls back and leads me from the truck.

Brian starts to undress me the minute we’re inside the door, his hands moving purposefully, not fast, but like a man possessed. I feel his strength and the way he seems completely focused on me. It’s dizzying to think that this tough, strong man can be so attentive and passionate. I think of the silly romance books I used to read as a kid; those heroes now seem so fake. I have my own hero right here, tending to my every need.

I’m down to my panties and bra, my clothes scattered in the entryway while Brian caresses me, his kisses crushing my lips. He shuffles me to the wall and parts my legs. I’m so wet by now that my panties feel sticky. The cold wall presses against my bare back, making me shiver. Brian slips his hand under the fabric. I jolt from the instant pleasure this gives me. He pins my arms above my head and flashes me a grin in the darkness. He caresses me, slowly, torturing me.

“Brian,” I breathe, desperate.

He carries me into his bedroom. A mirror hangs on the inside of his closet door. He sets me down in front of it and comes up close behind me. I’m trembling, my pussy throbbing with hot blood. He undoes my bra and slides it off. My breasts swing free, and I try to curl inward, but he won’t let me. With his body firm behind me, he cups by breasts, stroking my skin while kissing the crook of my shoulder and watching my face in the mirror. But I’m too shy to watch. He tugs my panties down and gently lifts each leg out so that I’m standing completely naked except for the necklace.

“Look how beautiful you are,” he whispers. I suck in my lower lip and finally take a look.

I see a young woman who wants to be free, to trust, to give in to her desires. But her eyes look troubled, afraid.

“I knew this would look good on you,” he says, fingering the necklace. I turn to kiss him, feeling overwhelmed by the emotions running through me.

“Are you ready to be mine?” he says, giving my nipples a little tug. I gasp in pleasure.

“Yes,” I say. “Yours.” I touch his face. “Yours completely.”

---