Page 40 of Yours

“That’s the whole point,” he says, giving me a strange look.

“Is that it?” I ask, as an angry fire comes out of nowhere. “You want to show me off?”

Brian pulls the truck over, and I shrink back from him, but his eyes are patient and kind.

“I’m sorry,” I say. I realize I’m worried about seeing the kids I grew up with. Most of the time, it’s easy to avoid them.

“What if they see me with you tonight? They’llknow.”

“Who’s ‘they?’”

“Kids I used to know,” I reply, fiddling with my jacket pocket flap.

“That was a long time ago, darlin’,” he says, reaching over to stroke my arm. “You can’t hide from them forever.”

“But what if they…say those things to me?” The idea that it could be just like when I was fifteen hurts so much I feel like I might burst.

“Then you can send them to me and Higgs, and we’ll take care of them.”

While the idea of having my own personal bodyguard helps, it doesn’t make the fear go away.

“Or better yet, you tell them they can go to hell,” he adds.

He pulls me close to him. “Come on,” he says. “Let’s just give it a try. We can leave whenever you want.”

I inhale a deep breath and give him a tight nod.

Inside the pub, the air smells of beer and stale peanuts, but it’s warm and the steady hum of conversation feels welcoming. I turned twenty-one six months ago, so the experience of being inside a bar is still a novelty.

His friend, a bear of a man named Jeff Higgs, shakes my hand, and Brian orders us beers. I meet the rest of their group but forget their names as soon as I turn away.

“Let’s play darts,” Brian says.

I pick up my beer, and we step to the back wall where Brian grabs the darts from the giant target. He’s much better at this than me. One of mine accidentally hits the wall instead of the big, green circle.

“Oops,” I say, covering my mouth.

Brian grins. “Didn’t your pop ever teach you to throw?” he asks.

“Nope,” I say. “I was always afraid of the ball hitting me in the face. I wore glasses, remember?”

He comes up behind me and helps reset my stance, then shows me a better way to position my arm. Having him stand this close to me, in public, is having a strange effect. I can smell his cinnamon-mint scent and feel the heat of his body. Watching him so focused as he teaches me makes me shiver with anticipation for when we’re alone later. But there’s also so many eyes capable of watching us. I’m bracing myself for when people notice it’s me, here with an older man.

With Brian’s help, my dart game improves. His friend Higgs and his date, a short woman with dirty blonde hair dyed blue at the tips, come over, and the four of us pair up for another game. Higgs and his date win, and I start to have fun. I get to talking with a blonde woman who tells me about her two-year-old son that her mom is watching tonight. She flashes me pictures of him from her phone.

By now I’ve removed my coat, but it’s still warm, so go the bar for a glass of ice water. While I’m waiting for the bartender to notice me, I glance up at the TV which is playing a sports interview show, but the volume is too low to hear what the reporters are saying.

“Darcy?” a voice says to my left.

I turn to see a face I’ve tried to forget: Joey Spinks. His eyes are still too close together, and while braces have fixed his teeth, his smile is still lopsided.

The room starts to slowly spin. It’s like a hole has just opened in the floor and all my insides are being sucked into it. I can’t open my mouth because I’m afraid what might come out.

“Itisyou,” he says, his grin widening.

“Hey,” I manage, keeping my eye on the bartender who is busy pouring beers from the tap.

“I didn’t know you were back in town,” he says. He must be waiting for the bartender too because he’s got a twenty-dollar bill folded lengthwise between his middle and index fingers.

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