Page 23 of Yours

“Left hand, purple,” Brent calls, straining to reach a purple circle far to his left. Feeling unbalanced again, I swing my left arm under me to a dot beneath my stomach. Next to me, Ellis reaches over the backs of my legs for a dot near my right foot. His chest folds over my thighs. The air around me starts to feel warm.

Brent calls more moves, and everyone starts jostling, and pretty soon people are falling and crashing and laughing. I try to spin my body to reach a red dot, but the room spins a little and I land on my butt with Ellis on top of me. Suddenly it’s the funniest thing in the world, and I’m laughing so hard I’m afraid I’m going to pee my pants. Ellis is laughing too as he rolls off me then in one swoop, pulls me to my feet.

I excuse myself to the bathroom, feeling the hallway walls float past me as I hurry along. Tucking into the small space, I see a shower, short countertop with a sink, and a wooden toilet seat. Just as I’m about to close the door behind me, Tiffany rushes in. While I pee, she inspects her makeup. “You and Ellis sure look cozy,” she says slyly.

I giggle.

Her eyes go wide. “Oh my god, you’re high, aren’t you?”

I giggle some more. “Yes,” I squeak.

She grins. “About time you let loose a bit. It’s even more fun to fuck when you’re high. Are you gonna let Ellis take you upstairs?”

“No!” I cry but it’s still so funny that I burst into another fit.

“I don’t need to worry about you, right?” she says, brushing up her eyelashes in the mirror.

“Right,” I say as we switch places. I feel so good right now, I just want it to keep feeling like this so I don’t have to think about how much I miss Brian.

We exit the bathroom and head for the keg. Tiffany grabs a handful of pretzels and forces them into my hands. “Eat something, okay? I don’t want you puking in my car.”

“Okay,” I say obediently.

Across the room, Ellis is talking with two other guys. He catches my eye, and there’s that look again—like he can undress me. I feel the room sway, and a heat fills me. It’s a crazy, reckless feeling, almost as intoxicating as the chemicals swirling in my brain. I spin back to the conversation with Willow and Tiffany, feeling Ellis’s eyes on my ass.

At some point, Tiffany disappears with Brent. I start to worry because I’m feeling ready to go home. My head has a little tapping ache right at my temples. It’s not bad, but it’s a sign that my fun ticket is running out. I ask Willow if she’s seen her, but she’s talking in a circle of jocks, so practically shoos me away.

I go searching for Tiffany. If she wants to stay, it’s cool, I can probably call a cab, or someone might leave soon, and I can ask for a lift. The house is one of those older types with wood floors and wainscoting. The farther from the living room I get, the colder the air feels, as if I’m leaving the nucleus of the house. Someone said there was a game of poker going on in one of other the rooms, and I’m wondering if that’s where Tiffany and Brent have gone.

I stop at the first door past the guest room with our coats, and press my ear against the door, but don’t hear anything. I keep going, passing a room that looks like a rec room with a giant couch and TV where a movie is playing. The room is completely dark except for the light from the screen, but I hear sounds.

“Tiffany?” I whisper.

A groan of comes from the other side of the couch, and I catch the top edge of a woman’s head, bobbing. Quickly, I roll around the door frame and close the door behind me, my heart beating fast. It’s crystal clear to me what they were doing, and it makes my skin shiver. I think about Brian and all the things we did together, most of them at his apartment, and the last time, in my room. My heart compresses like it’s being squeezed in a fist.

I climb the stairs but don’t hear anything when I land at the top. A series of doors stand closed. I stop and listen but only hear the distant din from the party downstairs.

The first room is an empty bedroom with a poster of a sports team on the wall and a pile of dirty laundry on the floor. “Ugh,” I say and quickly back out. The next door leads to a bathroom, also empty. Where is this poker game? Across from the bathroom waits another door. I listen at the surface but hear nothing through the thick wood. I push open the door and peek inside.

Tiffany is bent over the foot of the bed, her sweater and bra pushed up. Brent is behind her, his pants bunched around his knees. Tiffany’s cheerleader skirt is flipped up, exposing her naked backside. I see her discarded panties on the floor. She’s wearing an intense expression I don’t take time to read. I can’t see Brent’s face, but I can hear his grunts as he moves against her.

I stifle my gasp and step back quickly, making sure to close the door quietly. Spinning, I hurry on quiet feet back down the stairs, the party’s music and conversation crowding into my ears the closer I get to the main room. I go straight for my coat and find my phone. I’m not sure if cabs are still running at this hour. Technically, I could walk home. My coat is warm, but my feet would freeze walking through the frozen slush.

“You okay?” Ellis’s voice says from the doorway. I look up from my phone, startled.

“Yeah, I’m just ready to go home, and…my friends aren’t.”

“Need a ride?” he asks.

I practically melt with relief. “That would be great. You sure you don’t mind?”

“Of course not,” he says. “I’ll just get my keys,” he adds, and pushes off the door frame.

I follow him through the house. He says something to one of the guys, and they both glance at me. The guy nods. I catch Willow’s eye and mouth “I’m going home” to her. She sees that I’m going with Ellis. Before I catch her look, Ellis takes my hand and pulls me to the door.

Eight

Darcy

---