Page 18 of Yours

Out of the corner of my eye, I see his mouth harden into a line.

“That paperwork I brought over,” I say, thinking back to the reason I went to his apartment three nights ago. I can’t believe the girl that showed up there is gone, replaced by the woman I am now. It’s a thought that makes me feel exposed and vulnerable, like a baby fawn taking her first steps. “Is that so you can buy him out?”

“Yeah,” Brian says, then gives me a glance. “I paid a lawyer to make sure it’s all legit. Twenty percent now, and then the rest in increments over the next five years.”

“Wow,” I say, both excited for Brian and nervous for my dad. I don’t know if his health can hold out that long.

He laces his fingers in mine, so naturally that I don’t think he knows he’s doing it.

“Fuck,” I hear him utter.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, alarmed. Is there something up ahead on the road—a traffic jam? Or is it something trivial, like forgetting to turn off the lights when we left the house? That he could already be thinking of those things while I’m slowly dying inside right next to him makes my head pound.

“Nothing,” he says, shaking his head. “Everything.”

I sit quietly, waiting, but he doesn’t say anything else.

“Thank you for spending time with me,” I say, rubbing his knuckle with my fingertip, as if I can memorize the feel of his skin beneath my touch.

He gives me a look I can’t read. “You act like it was some kind of charity,” he scoffs.

“Well, I did ask you…”

He snorts. A long pause seems to stretch into forever. “I enjoyed every minute of being with you, Darcy,” he says, flashing me a look of fierceness, like he’s some kind of warrior readying for battle.

“I did too,” I say, lowering my eyes.

“You’re gonna do great,” he says, though I’m not sure what he means: great in school, or great with guys? I shake my head because I’m not interested in the second bit, and not sure about the first. School and my goals just feel so far away right now.

“I wish I didn’t have to go so soon,” I whisper.

“All good things must come to an end,” he says with a grimace.

I suck in a breath, hoping that it’s faster than my emotions that are wanting to spill out and ruin everything.

I nod and try to be the brave girl I was last night. But the thought of what he did to me, of his compassion for me and what I was going through brings those emotions I’m holding onto break loose. Discreetly, I wipe my eyes and stare out the window.

Who am I kidding? Brian’s not going to wait around for me. His dance card is surely full until he’s forty. He was kind and caring and helped me solve a problem. But he’s surely ready to usher me out of his life. I wonder if it will be awkward when I come home at Christmas. Will he be seeing someone? Will I see the two of them around town?

Maybe I should stay away until five years from now when he’ll own the shop and my dad won’t be connected to it anymore. My brain says this is a fine idea, but my heart’s got her fists up, ready to fight. No way—I can’t stay away from my dad for that long, or Brian. Even if I have to see him with someone else. I can still think back to our time together, remember it as something special. Because it was—I’ll never forget it.

Finally, we’re parking his truck at the airport and he’s lifting my suitcase from the back. He takes my hand and wheels my suitcase to the gate where I join the long line of travelers checking in. Our hands are locked together and even though we don’t talk, I can feel his mind spinning. But is it spinning because of me? Or is he processing our imminent goodbye? Heck, he could be making a mental grocery list, for all I know.

After my luggage is checked and I have my ticket, Brian walks me slowly to the security line, our hands swinging.

“I know you’re gonna do great,” he says again.

“Thanks,” I reply because I don’t really know what else to say.

“You give those prep-school boys hell, okay?” he says, trying to muster a smile but I see it break.

I dive into his arms.I don’t want any prep school boys, I think, not wanting to cause a scene. He holds me close, stroking my hair.

“Drop by the shop when you’re back in town,” he says, releasing me. He’s smiling but I can’t feel its warmth.

“Okay,” I say, wanting to make this moment last but knowing I can’t.

He lets go of my hand and steps back, his grin tightening. “Bye, Darce,” he adds.

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