Page 59 of Perfectly Wedded

His face grows serious, almost hurt. “Because you asked me not to.”

“But what about the rules? That whole thing about being very convincing?”

“I want to convinceyou,so you’ll ask me to stay. But I won’t ever force myself into your life. You have to choose me too. You can’t say one thing and then run the other direction.”

His words feel like small paper cuts across my skin. All this pent-up rejection from my past has me running from anyone who gets too close. Even Vale, who would never willingly hurt me.

“So you wanted to stay?” My voice cracks on the last word, the emotion a lump in my throat.

“More than anything,” Vale says, his face softening, his eyes searching my face. “If you asked, I would never leave you.”

My heart goes from bruised to soft in a beat.He wanted to stay.

Is that why I put up my defenses every time he gets too close?

I know past scars never completely heal. But I want to believe that love can be the one thing that heals us, changes us into something better than we were.

“I see you looking at your sister, wanting what she has,” Vale says, his voice a raw scrape. “Just tell me what you need. How I can make things better. How I can be a better husband to you.”

There he goes again, tossing out words likehusband,and making me feel like I’m something to him.

It hurts how much he cares, even if that caring is only limited by the time we’re married. But I need this, needhim, even if it’s only for now. I want to stop running every time he scares me, every time I worry he’s going to leave. What makes me tremble, more than anything, is the devastating realization that I’m falling off a cliff and can’t stop myself. That when this marriage ends,so will I.

“I want what they have,” I say, looking at my sister as Brax cradles her in the water and nuzzles her ear. “I want to love that way, but I don’t want to risk losing you when this ends. Our friendship means too much to me to ever risk that.”

“Who said you have to lose anything?” he says, tipping his face up to mine. “You won’t lose me if you don’t push me away. But you also can’t wear a mask around me and pretend it’s invisible, like I don’t notice you’re pretending.I see you, Sloan.And I want the real you. Not the you who’s hiding. Not the you who’s trying to be someone else. I want the Sloan who’s not afraid to be herself. Because I can handle therealyou.” He holds my gaze, waiting for me to respond.

I know if I agree, I’m risking everything. Risking rejection. Losing my heart. But I can’t stand playing into this charadewithout letting my heart feel everything, without letting myself fall completely for Vale.

I want to. I already am.

“I agree,” I say, then slowly, “And I’m asking...” I let out a long breath. “Would you please sleep in my bed tonight? Because I can’t stand the thought of you sleeping on the couch... by yourself.”

His mouth tips up in the corner into a smoldering grin that makes hot fire race through my bones. “Yes, I’ll sleep next to your Great Wall of Pillows tonight, and every night after that if you want me there. But with one caveat: As my wife, you’ll jump into this water and let me into your world. No more hiding. Because today, I want to be your husband, if you’ll let me.” He puts out one hand, an invitation to jump. To take a chance, even if it’s scary.

I do it before I can even think, knowing that thinking has confused me more than anything today. Leaping off the Jet Ski, I sink into the cold water, the water whooshing into my ears with a roar. I’m washing off all the tangled emotions in my heart, washing myself clean of the past, of all the fears I’ve buried deep inside.

Vale catches me just like he promised. His hands wrap around my waist, holding me against his hip, our bodies lightly tangled under the water, all the pressure points tingling with pleasure.

This is where I’m meant to be. This is who accepts me, even though I’m “too much.”

I tip my head back and laugh while the sun warms my face and my hair drips across my shoulders, sending streams of water down my chest and back.

From afar, my sister yells, “Finally! What took you so long?”

I can only yell back what’s true, a feeling of newborn hope blossoming in my chest: “I don’t know why I waited so long.”

TWENTY

Vale

We swim on the surface of the water for hours, fully immersed in the colorful underwater show. Bright blue fish, sunny yellow ones, zebra-striped, a school of orange clownfish—an entire sea circus putting on a spectacle just for us. A full-on show under the surface of the water, things we wouldn’t have seen had we not slid on our goggles and peered into the depths.

In some ways it reminds me of what’s happening under the surface of our marriage. If Sloan could see inside me, I think she’d realize how complicated this is for me. How much I want her. The lengths I’d go for her,if she asked me to.

But like so much with Sloan, she’s too afraid to look beneath the surface, too afraid of what she might find there.

At the end of our time in the water, I notice her looking at me, her mouth quirked into a curious smile.

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