Page 18 of 40-Yard Line

“Not at all,” said Noah. “It is strange. I feel nothing in the building of his presence.”

“Could it be because it was suicide?”

“Perhaps. I am not sure, but it feels strange to not feel anything here.”

When Cait finished with the meditative yoga, Ashley stood before the men, smiling as she talked about the stages of grief and loss. Immediately, Noah and Trak saw a few men squirming on their mats, including Kurt and Petey.

“Butch was a good man,” said one of the players. “He was devoted to his little girl, and that alone earned my respect. To be a quarterback in this league for as long as he was, well, that’s something special.”

“I agree,” said another player, “but you have to admit, he was losing it. He was old, slow, and his head wasn’t on right, man.”

“Watch your mouth,” said Kurt. “He deserves our respect.”

“Says the man that took his job,” smirked another. Kurt started to go toward him, but Noah gripped his shoulder, giving it a hard squeeze and shaking his head.

“This is not about attacking one another. It is about dealing with what happened in that room down the hall.”

“He slit his wrists. That’s what happened,” said Rossi. “He slit his wrists because his brain was scrambled, and he could barely wipe his own ass any longer.”

“That’s it!” yelled another, leaping toward Rossi. It took Noah and Trak fifteen minutes to calm the men enough to have Ashley speak to them again. Only this time, everyone refused to speak. When they left, she stared at her friends.

“Well, that didn’t go as planned,” she frowned. “Did you get a sense of anything at all?”

“Fear. Guilt. Death. That’s all,” said Trak, Noah nodding in agreement.

“That’s all? Trak, that’s a lot. Who were you getting guilt from?” asked Cait.

“At least four men,” said Noah. Trak nodded at him. “I do not know why they were feeling guilty, but the sense was overwhelming to me. What I did not get was a sense of Butch’s spirit here in the building. I should feel something, but I do not.”

“The two men in the front row wouldn’t make eye contact with me,” said Ashley. “The young man, Kurt, the quarterback who took over for Butch, definitely wouldn’t look at me when I spoke of him. I don’t know if that’s guilt or sadness without talking to him directly.”

“You might get your chance,” said Trak, staring at the practice facility as players began to exit. Ashley nodded at him, walking slowly toward the young man.

“Kurt? Kurt, hi, Ashley again,” she smiled.

“Yes, ma’am. I’m kind of in a hurry,” he said nervously.

“Oh, I know. I don’t mean to bother you. I just wanted to offer my services for free any time you want to talk. You must be going through a lot right now. It can’t be easy taking over from someone like Butch.”

“Look,” he said with a curt tone, “I don’t want to talk about this. Not now, not ever.”

“Okay,” she said, taking a step back. He looked up to see Noah standing just a few feet away and shook his head.

“I wouldn’t hurt her,” he said. “That’s not who I am.” Lowering his head, he left Ashley and Noah standing in the parking lot, staring at one another. When Cait and Trak approached, they just shrugged.

“That didn’t go very well,” said Cait. Noah nodded, watching as the car sped away.

“No, but he is feeling guilt for something. I just don’t know what it is yet.”

CHAPTER TWELVE

“I don’t know where your doctors train, but my body hasn’t felt this good in ten years,” said Trevon, smiling at Alec and Tailor. He’d been going through a number of physical, background, and intelligence tests with the team, finally succumbing to the pressure of a naked hot springs bath in a strange, secret pond. He was grateful he’d done it.

“The hot springs make all the difference,” grinned Alec.

“I’m gonna gain fifty pounds if I keep eating this cooking,” he said, shaking his head. “I swear this is the best food I’ve ever had in my life, and I’ve eaten a lot of good food.”

“Mama knows what she’s doing, but so do the rest of our cooks,” smiled Alec. “We’ve got Michelin star chefs back there, as well as homegrown cooks. It’s all the same to us here. Delicious.”

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