Page 170 of Alien Haven

She and Sara sat at the kitchen table, their hands curled around the comfort of cups of coffee. They’d puttered around cleaning up breakfast until the older woman had finally sighed, poured them fresh cups, and said, “Sit. We need to talk.”

She gazed at Charity, her blue eyes full of empathy and concern. “Detodev, Ilid, and Mitag are part of your decision, aren’t they?”

Detodev had departed for the fields barely a minute after Groteg’s fiery exit, mumbling apologies to Sara for the tension he’d caused. Charity swallowed, remembering the glance he’d given her when she’d talked of not leaving her friends.

“They’re probably fifty percent of it. Okay, maybe I’m underestimating their importance,” she admitted when Sara’s brow rose.

“I’d say so.” Sara twitched a strained smile. “I get it when it falls on you like a ton of bricks out of nowhere. When it’s the last thing you think you need on top of everything else.”

Charity tried to find the words to explain she merely suffered from a bad case of infatuation, but they failed to come. Mostly because she feared it had gone beyond a heady crush. “It’s too fast.”

“Trust me, I know.”

“How can I be sure it isn’t a case of ‘poor me, I’m always pushed away by my family, so I’ll force love to happen whether it’s right or not’?”

“Perhaps it is. You can’t be certain until you’ve given it time to develop. The fact you’re on watch for such a reaction helps.” Sara looked at her levelly. “The biggest problem is, you’re putting your life on the line to learn if it’s real.”

“It feels as if running is all I do. First from Earth, later from the Holy Asshole, recently from the Galactic Council, Alpha Space Station…when does it end? When do I get to live my life? When do I get to hang on to the people I care for?” Charity heard her voice rising, but she couldn’t stop it from doing so. She was tired of losing those who mattered.

“Yeah. Been there, done that.” Sara’s smile took on a sad note.

Charity regretted her outburst. “I’m sorry. You lost your first husband, then your Dramok—”

“My situation doesn’t minimize yours.” Sara leaned toward Charity from her side of the table. “Are Detodev, Ilid, and Mitag worth fighting for? Worth the chance of being abducted by those who’d hurt you? Though I have no doubt your young men would do everything in their power to keep you safe, there’s no guarantee they can do so.”

Charity had examined the situation up and down, thanks to the long, mostly sleepless night she’d spent struggling. “I think they are.”

“Youthink?”

“I’m leaving room for mistakes. I’m no idiot, despite appearances.”

Sara chuckled. “I’m quite aware you aren’t a fool. The question is, do you bet your life on a maybe?”

“Here’s the thing.” Charity spoke as confidently as she could, to demonstrate how rational she was despite the fact she really was taking a tremendous chance. “I could run and hide and buy a few weeks or years. Perhaps a lifetime. I could reach an age when I’m wrinkled and gray. But I’ll always wonder if I lost the most precious gift I could have had. I’ll live in doubt, and worst of all, regret. Are Ilid, Detodev, and Mitag worth hanging around for? I don’t know. What I am certain of is leaving the question unanswered is worth fightingagainst.”

After a long beat, Sara tucked her blond hair behind her ear and sat up straight. “In the early days of Haven’s existence as a colony, a large faction of Earthers lived here who treated our Kalquorian neighbors with suspicion. Hatred, even. They weren’t called Earthtiques then, but they fit the description. There were Kalquorians who felt as adamant we had no business mixing.”

“Which launched their civil war.” Charity had seen some of the fallout of the conflict.

“When I joined Clan Amgar, it was under the worst possible conditions.” Sara’s gaze was distant, her expression grim. “I was desperate. I had three small children, poor health, and a failing farm. I wondered when I accepted Clan Amgar’s proposal to clan if I did so for the wrong reasons. We earned animosity from those who hated our union. Such hatred ultimately cost Amgar his life. It nearly killed the rest of us too.”

Charity thought of her own irritation over Groteg and Kalquor insisting she leave Haven. It seemed petty given the grief Sara had been dealt.

“Don’t do that,” Sara said gently. “I can see shame in your face, and it isn’t necessary. Don’t belittle your own struggle just because it isn’t as dramatic as the challenges others have been through.”

“I feel like a whining baby,” Charity grouched. “You don’t need to hear it.”

“I don’t mind. If I can help you come to the best decision for yourself, I want to.”

“You’re such a mom.”

“I’ve had more practice on that front than I often think I can handle.”

Charity managed to laugh.

Sara regarded her with warmth. “Listen to me. You’re an adult, as you keep pointing out to Groteg. Your reasons for remaining on Haven strike me as valid, so you should. But you must be fully aware of how dangerous your situation is. You can’t downplay how bad it could get over amaybe.”

Charity heard Sara’s urgency. She respected it, since her friend…another friend she was desperate to stay close to…had seen the worst.

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