Page 49 of Room One Hundred and Nineteen: Watching Her

“Are you upset about me borrowing your car?” I blurted. Panic dripped from every pore. Shit. If they ended this, I wasn’t sure I could recover. When my marriage imploded, I had expected it. Hell, I was relieved. But with them? With my handsome doctors? I wasn’t ready for it to be over. My vision started to blur, and the end of my nose started to sting with unshed tears.

“Elena, come over here,” Rick repeated, and Josh made a disgruntled sound.

“Jesus Christ, I told you this was fucking stupid,” Josh cursed and hurried toward me. Before I could process that he was right in front of me, Josh had me in his arms and carried me toward where the other two were patiently sitting.

“What are you doing?” I hissed and sniffled. Shocked I hadn’t started to sob. I glanced over at the door I’d shut behind me like it was going to burst open at any moment.

I could only imagine it. Tabitha would walk in and call in HR so she could definitely fire me for not only being late but for fraternizing with not only one fellow employee but three of them.Oh god! I am going to end up on the news somehow!

“We need to talk,” Josh repeated as he sat down, setting me on his lap.

“You guys––“ I started to say, but he interrupted me.

“We love you,” he said, and I frowned.

“I know that,” I clipped, my body taut with anxiety. “But it’s not enough, right?” I asked, staring into his icy blue eyes.God,will this be the last time I sit on his lap like this?Will it be the last time I look into his beautiful stare?

“I’m… I’m too much, and you guys are done? Is that what this is?” I asked while I looked around at the three of them. It felt wrong to say the words out loud, and worse when I noticed their grief-stricken faces.

“You think we want to break up?” Miles asked with a look of horror on his face.

“Yes. No. I don’t know. You said you needed to talk, and all of you looked like you were nervous, when you’re never nervous. Tabitha was upset I was late and––“ I sounded unhinged, and I knew it.

Anxiety and fear were never a good mix.

“Shh… breathe, beautiful,” Josh soothed. That’s when I noticed Rick’s’ big warm hand rubbing my back with a firm touch. Up and down tenderly while my breathing returned to normal. I turned, and my eyes connected with Rick’s.

“I got scared,” I admitted in a whisper.

“Why?” His hands never stopped moving while my hand rested on Josh’s chest.

“I don’t know.”

“El, talk to us.” Miles kneeled at my side and Rick on the other. I exhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. It was time to tell them. To be honest about how I felt.

“Things—“ I licked my lips. I knew it was time, but fear of rejection was crazy. I knew how they felt. They had literally just told me, but for some reason, saying it out loud was scary as hell. “Things have been good with us. So much better than I could have ever dreamed. When we went to Club Sin, I thought… I don’t know. I thought it would be a one-time thing, and yet… it wasn’t. Things with us feel good. Too good and… I thought my luck ran out,” I admitted. I felt like I was standing on the edge of the ledge, letting myself be vulnerable with them.

“Stop thinking that,” Josh muttered, and my other two doctors grunted like they agreed with him. “We love you, baby,” he repeated the sentiment, and as I stared into his gray-blue eyes, something started to change inside of me. Something that had been softening since the night they had come over when the kids got sick, but different. “And yes, we need to talk to you—“ he kept speaking, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Tabitha—“ I started to warn because if we weren’t breaking up, I didn’t need her to find me surrounded by them and jump to what would be the right conclusions.

“She’s not coming, gorgeous,” Rick shared. My brows bunched. “We need to talk to you, and we need to make sure you’re ready to listen to us”.

“Wait! How are you so sure she isn’t coming?” His lips twitched.

“Trust us?”

“Always.” And it was the truth. I did. I just needed to tell them all of it.

How I felt.

That I wanted forever.

Even if it sounded crazy and irresponsible to be tied to three men. Especially as a single mom. But fuck whatever one else thought. My kids were happy and safe and cared for.

“We love you,” Miles said, and I turned to look at him. “You have no idea how fucking happy we are. You … you and the kids make our lives brighter. You guys give us a higher purpose. More than one that we could get from our careers.”

“And we know we haven’t been together that long,” Rick cut in. “It’s been a couple of months, but the three of us have been talking things out. The going back and forth is hard. We want to give you and the kids more. Space for Mike and Betsy to run around in, privacy for us when we want to… connect.” Rick winked.

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