Page 42 of Room One Hundred and Nineteen: Watching Her

They were essentially three single men. They had careers and lives of their own. They could hop on a plane at a moment’s notice or drop anything to go to a sex club. Something they couldn’t get from me if we stayed together.

I understood that Miles, Josh, and Rick came as a team. They did everything together. They worked, lived, and loved together. And as much as it sucked, because for a moment there, if I was being honest, I believed I could be their fourth, that we could make it work, it didn’t.

I couldn’t be.

I had too much baggage. Too many responsibilities, juggling way too many plates in the air. What man would sign up for that? For this? I looked around and winced.

My back hurt from being pressed against the hard tub. The whole bathroom smelled like puke. But no matter the pain and stench, I couldn’t move a muscle. Betsy shifted, drawing my attention to my daughter. Her hair was getting long, and her bangs were starting to get into her eyes. She would need a trim soon, or else she would find scissors and play hair salon.Again.My lips twitched. I guess that was part of motherhood. Smiling through the crazy.

I brushed her hair out of her face, noticing she was still clammy but cooler than she had been an hour ago when I gave them medicine.

“Mom?” Mike opened his eyes and lifted his little head. His eyes were tired.

“Yes, baby?”

“I don’t feel good,” he whined before sitting up quickly.

“I know, honey, open the lid to the—“ I didn’t get a chance to finish my sentence before my sweet boy threw up all over me. I held my breath to stop my own gag reflexes from kicking in and rubbed his back. “It’s okay, baby,” I soothed.

“Mom, sorr—“ He heaved again, and I shut my eyes for a moment.

Life had a funny sense of humor. It had a great way of reminding you what was what.

And this was definitely a wake-up call.

Once Mike settled down and I scrubbed the shower, I made him take a quick one. Not two minutes after Mike was in his pj’s, Betsy woke up, and I had her shower, too. Once both kids were changed, I moved them to the living room after covering the couches in comforters just in case they got sick again. A blanket was easier to toss into the washer than a whole couch.

My phone had been ringing, but I had sent each call to voicemail. Once my kids were settled, I looked at the bathroom. I had just changed my clothes, but I needed to wash up and clean the bathroom, not to mention their rooms.

But instead of jumping in to get it cleaned up, I shut the bathroom door and snuck out to the backyard. When my phone rang again, I answered.

“Hello.”

“Hello? Are you kidding me?” Rick hissed, obviously pissed. “Are you okay? Did something?—“

“I’m good,” I cut him off. “And I’m sorry. Look…” I sighed, knowing I needed to explain. “The kids got sick, and I don’t think…”

I felt like throwing up.

I knew the moment the words slipped past my lips, that would be it. Game over. The possible future I’d thought I’dsomehow manage to make come true would be done and over with. My eyes shut for a moment.

Three men and me?It might work for Rosie, but she had no one else counting on her. Not like I did. How could I have possibly thought this would work?

“Elena, you there?” Josh asked, and I immediately knew I was on speaker.

“I’m here. Look, guys, umm…” My stomachs clenched. “These last three weeks… they have been the best.” My stupid voice cracked, giving away just how much I cared.

“Been the best?” Miles asked. I took in a deep steadying breath of fresh air.

“My life… My life isn’t like the one you guys are used to. My priority are the twins and?—

“We never asked for you to change that,” Miles clipped, and I winced.

“I know that. What I’m trying to say is, the last three weeks, the sneaking off and hanging at your place and going out to eat together… that’s not my life.” Stupid stubborn tears streamed down my face. “My life is messy and hard.”

“They’re sick?” one of them guessed.

“A stomach bug went around at daycare. Half the kids are out with it.”

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