Page 61 of Beast: Part Two

“You need to stop claiming that man as yours. His wife will literally kill you.”

She groans. “Let me have my delusions.” I chuckle at her antics.

“Anyway,” she goes on to say. “How are you feeling about being there now? Do James and I need to keep the private jet fueled?”

I think back over the last few weeks. They haven’t been great but mostly for the fact that I’m desperately trying to win back my man. The house doesn’t feel so foreign to me now. I do, however, still feel like the outsider that doesn’t contribute to shit.

“I don’t know. It still feels like I’m in the way here. But I guess I’m not in a rush to leave.”

“What makes you feel as if you’re in the way?”

Sighing, I push my braids over my shoulder. “Obviously, the brothers and Priest are all here because they are part of that organization. Even Maksim, who isn’t a member, is helping them track down people and going on assignments with them. Then Ari, and Albany are in their own ass kicking organization. They often get called in to help with the computer stuff.

“Brooklyn is even useful because she has this crazy memory. Malia keeps Lucien fed and happy while he works nonstop. Hell, she even bakes sweets to make everyone happy. Even Ms. Reese is useful with helping with the kids and relaying messages from her ex to Priest. I’m just kind of here. What can I offer other than making everyone a fucking bracelet?”

“Hey, you make damn good bracelets. Don’t downplay yourself.”

I laugh at Trina’s joke. I know this all sounds crazy. Everyone has been nice and welcoming to me, but I have this unshakeable fear in my head that eventually I’ll be just an extra mouth to feed, and they will vote me off the island. I’m not sure if it’s because of the way Gabriel is making me feel with this break up or what, but I feel as if I’m on borrowed time in this house. I’m trying to find ways to be helpful.

“Maybe I’m over thinking.”

“Of course you are,” Trina says. “But that doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid. Maybe you should do something nice for the house. I mean it seems as if you guys are going stir crazy. Maybe try to have a party or host a date night. I know you and Gabe aren’t on good terms, but at least it would be something nice to get everyone involved.”

That was a brilliant idea. Not only will it be a good contribution to the house, but it could also help me remindGabriel that he wants me. The more I think it over, the better the idea forms.

“Trina, you’re brilliant.”

“I know and you’re welcome.”

A voice in the background of her phone catches my attention.

“Alright, Summer, I have to go. Hair and makeup are here. I think the date night is a great idea, but I also want you to understand you are enough. And if they don’t like it, fuck them.”

I laugh. “Okay, girl.”

“Kiss my baby for me. Talk to you later.”

I hang up the cellphone and glance over at my sleeping baby. It’s after two in the morning here, but almost nine a.m. in Paris where Trina is.

Climbing out of the chair, I go over to the bed and drop a kiss on Gabe’s head before heading into the kitchen. The house is quiet this early in the morning. Which is a lot different from what it sounds like most of the day.

Heading over to the Keurig in the kitchen, I brew myself some hot water for my tea. Ms. Reese has been making grocery runs for us. She was able to grab some of my favorite teas, along with Gabe’s favorite snacks.

The conversation between Priest and I, plays back in my head. Despite what Trina said, I did understand their logic. I can’t keep downplaying my feelings and fears to make Gabriel stay. But I truly felt awful for how I responded to him that day. I don’t want him to think he can’t come back home.

I’m lost in my thoughts when his voice comes out of the blue and startles me.

“Why are you still up?”

I spin around to face him with a hand over my chest. Raking my eyes over his body, I check for any injuries. The last time he disappeared from the house to get me clothes he came back covered in blood.

“You scared me,” I say without thinking.

He lowers his head. “I didn’t mean to.”

“I know that, Gabriel.” This is what Trina and Priest don’t see. It’s the utter remorse and sadness in his eyes when he does something to me. Just like the night his mother took him over and he choked me in my kitchen. The next day he could barely look at me. It would be different if he knew what he was doing or if he had no remorse, but he does.

“Sounds like the mindset of a true battered woman.”The voice in my head says again. This voice is really starting to piss me off.

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