Page 91 of Enforcer's Obsession

“Yes,” she responded.

“But I didn’t tell you everything. I didn’t tell you that it’s my fault they’re dead.”

I’d said those words in my head a million times, thought them so often that they were etched into my soul as truth.

But I’d never said them out loud.

And saying them now, feeling the weight of that responsibility.

Knowing what I had done.

This,thiswas the reason that I could never have her.

Was the reason I didn’t deserve her.

“Explain,” she said.

She was wearing that expression, that determined one that I wasn’t even sure she knew she had.

So I went on.

“The people who set that fire. They were a rival family. And I, idiot that I was, thought it would be a good idea to fuck with them. So I did. Beat the shit out of one of their capos. Stupid kid shit that only an idiot sixteen-year-old would think was smart. And it was my age that made it so embarrassing for the capo.

“I was so proud of myself. I bragged about it. Never once considered the consequences. My father tried to warn me. Told me that it was one thing to best someone, but something else altogether to humiliate them. I brushed it off, thought he was being an old man. I should have listened,” I said.

I lowered my head, turned away from her, unable to look at her.

Remembered why I never spoke of these things.

“Anyway, I’m left one night, even though my mother told me to stay home. She was worried, but I paid her no attention. And when I came home, I saw the fire. Smelled smoke, so thick it was burning my eyes. I can still hear my family’s screams,” I said.

I felt transported back to that day, remembered how powerless I had been, how I had rushed into the house, searching for someone.

How I hadn’t been able to save a single one of them.

“I guess someone dragged me out. When I woke up, the capo that I had beaten up was standing over me. Smiling. Asking me if I thought there was still something funny.”

“Oh God,” Hope whispered.

I shrugged. “Yeah, it’s what I deserved. But my family didn’t. They didn’t deserve that. And they died. Two sisters who never got to grow up. A little brother who idolized me. They died painful, horrible deaths because of me. I can’t let that happen again. I will not let that happen again.”

My fist slamming against my palm was barely audible over my words.

I looked at Hope, and she met my eyes. “Is that why you won’t admit you have feelings for me?”

“Did you not hear anything I said?” I screamed, anger surging through me.

“I heard everything you said,” she replied, seeming calm.

“You clearly didn’t. Because I told you I won’t let that happen again. My family is dead because of me. I won’t carry your death, too, Hope. I can’t,” I said.

“You really think it’s your fault?”

“I don’tthinkanything. I know it’s my fault.”

She tilted her head.

“I could see a sixteen-year-old boy thinking that. But you’re a grown man now, Nico. You can’t hide behind that anymore. Not if you want me to believe that.”

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