I scowl at him.“I’m not a virgin.”I use humor to deflect again because as much as I’m owning this rush of new emotions toward Brynn, I’m worried about addressing what that might mean for my future.“I never had anyone I felt like I could fall in love with, no.”
He nods.“I thought so.”
“Honestly, that whole sneaking up on you thing makes sense.I thought I was taking a hot girl home to screw her and then she’d bugger off.But afterward, I wanted her to stay the night, and the next morning, I wanted more time with her.I spent that entire semester with her in my class in a constant battle in my head—break the rules, date her in secret… but I was a coward.”
“You were thinking of your future career.”
I nod, tipping back my beer.“It might end up being my biggest regret.”
“Mate, she was young.It might not have worked back then.She needed to go off and live some of her life.”
Andrew’s right, I know.But I didn’t have to handle it the way I did.My bigger concern is whether I ruined it for us completely.
My gaze floats up from the fire to the windows of the main house.Brynn is dancing with Ryah in her arms, her niece’s infectious smile on display.I imagine coming home after a day at work and seeing this exact image but with our own daughter.
“What about the job thing?”Andrew brings me back to the present.
“I’m not sure.I don’t even know how many more applicants there are.I have a few leads in London too.”
“Really?”Andrew sighs.“I had hopes of getting you closer to me.”
I’m not sure what my life would look like without Andrew.He’s kept in touch with me over the years and pushed our friendship when I didn’t want anything to do with our family.
The younger, more delinquent version of me resented Andrew for growing up with a family and hated his father for putting me in boarding school.But as I grew, I matured and realized they weren’t to blame.No one was really.It was just a shite situation that life handed us.
“We’ll see what happens, but getting the job over Brynn would be a miracle.I did some research on her company in Portland, and she’s done amazing work there.”
He chuckles.“You sound like a proud dad.”
I shake my head.“No, I just see her talent.I did when she was in my class too, so I’m not surprised.I’m envious, honestly.”
We don’t say anything for a few minutes, just stare at the flames licking the cold night air.
Kenzie pops her head out the door.“Sorry, guys, but it’s time.”
“She really pushes you out of your comfort zone.”I down the rest of my beer and stand.
“Yeah, you’d probably pass out if I told you the stuff she’s made me do, but it makes her happy, and her happiness makes me happy.She pushes me to be a better man too.”He clasps his hand on my shoulder.“Do me a favor?Follow your heart and don’t listen to the doubts, okay?They’re a waste of time, and they’re usually not right anyway.”
I nod, but it’s not as easy as he makes it sound.
All of this is new to me.The family, the feelings, but most of all the desire—the fact that I want these things when I was happily living my life without them.
“All right, I’m going to hand out the cookies, and when you’re done decorating, we’ll take pictures for the Facebook friends to vote.Usually we do the prettiest cookie, but we’re going to mix it up this year, since some of us aren’t as artistic as others.”
Tre coughs out, “Carter.”
“Don’t call me next time you need computer advice.”Carter gives him the finger.
“Don’t worry, I know how to turn off my computer and turn it back on,” Tre jokes.
Carter throws a marshmallow from the bowl, and it bounces off Tre’s forehead.Tre picks up sprinkles and throws them at Carter.
“You’ll be cleaning it up,” Gwen says, placing a cookie in front of Brynn.“These are ugly sweaters.Decorate your cookie like the ugliest sweater, and we’ll see who wins.”
She sets one cookie each on the plate between the team members as though she’s our teacher, and we’re all in primary school.She and Abe sit at the head of the table.
“You have a half hour.Go,” Abe says.