Page 99 of Sick Bargain

What fucking control does Remiel Sauder have over me?

He puts his cello in the back and gets back in, buckling his belt. I pull onto the street without a word, unsure where I’m going. I drive past my house, the one I killed my parents in.Killian technically still lives there too, but we hardly stay there if we can help it. We should sell it, but it feels tattooed on our souls, unwilling to let us go, so we keep it and maintain it and stand in it when the urge strikes. I drive past Remiel’s childhood home, remembering what Axel told me about his mom.

His dad was taking too long to die, so she…

Do I tell him?

She survived the night and probably got ordered to go back home. Remiel looks at the windows, craning his neck to see if he can spot her. Her vehicle is in the driveway, but no movement shows inside. I drive past, knowing he wants to ask. He doesn’t.

I drive past the cemetery I throat-fucked him in, the streets I hunted him through, and the husk of his former house. He doesn’t look at that one. On the single road that leaves Moros, I speed up until I come to the dirt path that leads to the hiking trails and mining tunnels.

Kyd brings people here to scream. I need Remiel to play his music.

Remiel hesitates at the mouth of the tunnel. Nerves work their way through him because he doesn’t know why I’ve brought him here. To the residents of Moros, these mining tunnels are nicknamed The Mad House, because whatever you experience inside turns you into a different person if you make it out. It’s a house of mirrors, a maze, a death trap, and a fun house all in one, and the only distinguishing factor is fear and solitude. It’s hard to be alone in the dark with your own thoughts.

“Is this it?” he asks, his voice aimed at the tunnel’s entrance. “You decided to kill me without being brainwashed?”

No… because I want life and him in it.

“Walk, Remiel.” I shove him forward.

With his cello case slung over my shoulder, I follow him. I have a flashlight, but I don’t click it on. Remiel can move as slowly as he wants, so long as he keeps moving. This is his walkthrough The Mad House, and if he makes it out alive, I’ll know he has what it takes to survive me.

Who is he now?

Who am I now?

33

THE MAD HOUSE

REMIEL

I’ve never beena reflective person because I didn’t put a lot of faith in my lifespan. Suicide was my ticket out, and I got comfortable in the reassurance of that.

When my second brother died, and I saw how it wrecked Soren and Selena, Vile House became my ticket toredemption. I still knew I’d die from the bargain I made, but I wanted to do something good with my death: end the Sauder curse.

I failed. Gave up, like I do with everything else. Became selfish enough to want to live through it because I fell for the devil who took my bargain. I went from wanting to entice him into killing me to being determined to live just to get the chance to know him, and now nothing is right, but everything is finally clear.

I love Krypt, the Vile Boy. I love Keegan Hallows, the teen who murdered his family. I love him in a way that isn’t sane, comes with shame, and hurts so harshly it entices me into continuing just to survive the pain. But mostly, he scared me into a life I didn’t know I dreamt about. A life of extraordinary highs and ravaging lows. A life with him at the helm, conducting the progression of who I am and how I live. Because he made me realize that I have no idea who I am or what I’m doing, and I’msomeone who likes to be told. I’ve never known a more suitable dictator.

I want to live now. But only if he’s there, ruling me from above and challenging me to prosper. Only if I get to look into his eyes and see what thrashes within, drawing them out to help him understand himself. I want his sickness to infect me like poison, spreading throughout my bloodstream to taint me with his darkness. And in return, I want to give him the antidote to a mind that plagues him. A mind that doesn’t understand who he is or why his parents didn’t love him. Krypt is a man with layers, but he doesn’t delve into his deep ones because he’s never wanted to before. He’s a surface-level villain with an antihero core.

Feelings scare him much like he scares me. I come alive while afraid. But how will he react to fear?

The mining tunnels under the mountain have always been a source of fables around Moros. People go in and they never come out. Screams can be heard on calm nights when the fog isn’t too thick, drifting all the way down to Moros’ main street. The locals take pause, respecting the scream of a person either finding themself or haunting themself, knowing what it feels like to be challenged by Moros.

Countless unsolved crimes and missing persons’ cases lead to these tunnels, these mountains, and they remain unsolved because Trigger Mountain has power, granted and given by Moros.

The Mad House, these dark passageways are called. I’ve already started my trip into madness, so I’m about to see how far down the rabbit hole I can go. Trigger Mountain might find my trigger yet.

Drips echo all around me, not making their whereabouts known. The echoes cause confusion and morph everything intoan ominous sound that slithers down my spine and sparks all my survival instincts to life.There it is, my will to live.

My shoes turn damp and my skin becomes sensitive, the fine hairs on my arms standing straight to taste the air that shrouds us. I don’t know if Krypt is far behind or way ahead of me, and for once, I don’t want to know. This differs from being chased through the corridors of the asylum. That place was full of physical threats, but the only threat in here is me. My instincts, my mind, and my strength.

It’s time I face myself.

I keep my hand on the stone wall of the tunnel, feeling my way through the darkness. Where I’m going, I don’t know, but I trust that my body will get me there or Krypt will herd me there. I walk on uneven ground, feel movement beneath my hands, and hear things that may or may not actually be there.

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