Page 87 of Sick Bargain

I wish I had resisted, looked at him one more time, admired everything about him. Because when I wake to the sun already up, it spotlights a calling card.

A torso, ribs, a spine, a pelvic bone. Purple splashes.

I flip it. And touch my throat as I shatter.Would you still be mine if I freed you?he had asked…

I free you, Remiel.

28

A NEW ENEMY

KRYPT

I don’t likethat Director knows I’m hurting. I especially don’t like that he can guess what’s hurting me.

Life was better when I felt nothing and had no attachments. Remiel has made me weak and vulnerable by tainting my decisions and warping my motivations. He infected me with feelings and tamed the monsters in my eyes, and a part of me wants to hate him for it, but a bigger part respects him for being capable of it. I’ve craved being seen, so much so that I ached for a diagnosis when none fit me.

Remiel diagnosed me. By holding my eyes.

“You’re coming back,” Director states, handing me a jacket with knives and daggers hidden in the liner. Axel Graves will find them, but any chance is better than none. “You know that, right?”

If I make it back, I’m going to force him to answer a question I’ve been too chickenshit to ask. What did he see on Remiel’s brain scan?

I put on the jacket and avoid answering. I’ve had the tracker in my brain for a week, so if Axel Graves is the one watching my dot on a map, he’ll know exactly where I’ve been. He’s from Moros originally, so he knows where and what Vile House is.There’s a very real chance whoever meets me today will be there to kill me. But even if I make it through that and am taken back to the lab to start the brainwashing procedure, he’s not just going to let me come back to Moros like he did with Remiel’s mom. I’m a risk. She’s not, so our paths will be different. My only task is leading Vile House to Axel’s lab. Whatever else I have to endure while I’m there is on me.

I’ve never really feared dying. I figured it’d come at me fast and furious, and when my light blinked out, that’d be the end for me. Even if I was captured, I’d endure it until my hope died, and then I’d take the suicide pill we all keep on us. Either way, I planned to die with no regrets.

But once again, fucking Remiel has fucked with my plans.

Because I don’t want to die.

Would you still be mine if I freed you?

I free you, Remiel.

I’m desperate to know the answer. I’m terrified to know the answer. I might never get the chance to find out.

“Once we ping your location, we’re coming for you, Krypt.” Director looks at me.

He can’t hold eye contact as long as Remiel can, but he’s better than most people. “You’ll make sure Remiel…”

“Vile House has him. Always. And once you get back, you’ll have him. He’s protected, Krypt. What else?”

“No. Nowhat elsebullshit,” Ghost says, walking into the tunnel. “Like fuck you’re getting your affairs in order. You’ll be back by tomorrow.” His face is a stoic mask, but determination lines his eyes. “I’m coming with you.”

Ghost is going to fucking hate me for what I do to him next. But I’ll let it be a surprise for my brother to deliver. Remiel can handle the fallout from that.

“You’re on rescue team one, idiot,” Director tells Ghost. “You need to be here, on standby, to go in when we get the signal.”Because no one moves as silently as Ghost. Ghost gears up to fight the order, but Director cuts him off. “Open your mouth and you’ll join Ransom at the end of the rank line. I need you here. Krypt needs you here. Remi needs you here.”

I shove a handgun into the holster inside the jacket. Ghost grabs my shoulders, touching me when he knows I don’t like to be touched. Right in my face, he looks into my eyes with almost as much comfort as his brother.

“Remember that time you went through an interrogation for six days and nights, under bright lights and loud music, tortured and taunted, tricked and fucked with?” He slaps my cheeks. “You fucking made it. This is gonna be child’s play.”

I zip my jacket. “You trying to say you’re worried about me?”

Ghost grins. “You feel guilty about raping my brother yet?”

My eyes flash to Director, but he shakes his head and ignores us. “I’m still considering it.”

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