Page 5 of Sick Bargain

Drunk? Funny, because I don’t remember drinking, and I don’t feel hungover. This should scare me more than it does, but getting knocked out, drugged, and carted home isn’t that dire compared to what I actually did last night. “Who brought me home?”

“Soren and Keegan,” Mom answers. “Keegan found you passed out on the lawn of The Misfits’ party, so he called Soren and they got you home.”

I didn’t even go to The Misfits’ party, so how the fuck did I end up with my brother and his best friend? I look at Selena, who’s eating, reading, and talking all at once. “Did you go to the party?”

“Yeah, for a bit.”

“Did you see me there?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “But it was packed. This is the last weekend before the Vile initiation, so people went wild knowing they’d be locked at home next weekend.” She flips a page. “I’m thinking of pledging.”

Mom smacks down a pan of sausages, glaring at Selena. “No. We just got out of one mess. I don’t need you stepping into another.”

“Why not?” Soren asks, walking into the kitchen in nothing but black sweatpants. His tattooed chest and full sleeves make up the rest of his outfit. He slips on a t-shirt before turning around, covering his torso but leaving his gang tats on display. “Selena’s badass enough to make it.” He grins at our sister before offering me a more evil one. “Hungover, Rem?”

“She’d have to murder people!” Mom shouts. Her hand wraps around a knife, and the three of us glance at each other. It wasn’t too long ago that Mom lost her mind and… I rub the scar on my wrist. Soren takes the knife from her, and she snaps out of it, focusing on her cooking. We all just look at each other again, unsure what keeps happening to her. Because this isn’t the first time.

Murdering people on Initiation Night is just a rumour, anyway. I mean, the bloodbath the next day is usually a surefire sign, but no bodies are ever found, so we can’t be one hundred percent sure that murder is part of the initiation.

“I could off that bitch Sally Davies. She’s a cunt if I ever saw one.” Selena grins while Mom shakes her head at her.

“Preach,” Soren agrees, sitting next to her.

She shoves him. “Pretty sure you hooked up with her like three months ago.”

“And got a real up close and personal experience of her cuntiness,” he agrees. “Pledge, girl. You got this.” He’s gaslighting her into initiating for a ruthless society? Why? Does he wish her death, too? And he’s from The Misfits, so again, why?

No one even knows if they accept female members, and I have no idea why they’re accepting initiations when they’ve never, in the history of Vile House, had over ten members. Icounted ten last night. You must have to be a lower-ranking member for a long time before you get anywhere close to a coloured mask.

“Where’d Keegan really find me?” I ask Soren.

“The Misfits’ party. Said he watched you stumble down the front steps and face plant on the lawn, so he helped me get you home. We couldn’t find your house key or any of your shit in your wallet, so we brought you here.” He shrugs.

So, was I knocked out and dropped off at the party or…?

It doesn’t matter. The purple calling card in my pocket is all that matters. Because from now on, when he calls, I run. And Soren’s name is the third on my bargain list.

He doesn’t try to hide his gang affiliation. He’s never spoken about it to us, his family, but his gang tats are right there on his arms, silently speaking for him. I think it broke Mom’s heart, but she’d never say anything about it because the gang life, despite being dangerous, gives him a better chance at survival than our family curse does.

Soren isn’t top dog in The Misfits—a crew that often rivals Vile House—but he’s working his way up, and he’s narcissistic enough to think he just deserves to run the damn place. The weird thing about our town is that gangs, crews, cults, clubs, societies, and brotherhoods don’t hold animosity toward one another. They all have their roles and reasons, and mostly, they coexist because chaos breeds more chaos, and Moros thrives on chaos. So, even if Selena does initiate for Vile House and get accepted, she and Soren would be fine belonging to opposing groups. In Moros, grievances are between people, families, or friends. But mostly, it’s Moros against the tourists. It’s history against the future trying to change us.

It bothers me that Soren can sit across the table from me this morning, not at all affected by stalking me last night. I know he was there. I know he was one of the shadows following mebecause I sensed him—nostalgia and betrayal—which means he knows I went to Vile House, not the party. But there’s no point in drawing attention to it.

The grin on his face tells me he knows. So I offer him one in return to lethimknow thatIknow.

It’s thewhythat fucks with my head. Why he herded me there, or maybe why I led him there. Maybe I’m wondering what he was even doing there because he’s not the one I was outrunning.

“It’s so nice to have you all home,” Mom says, sitting with us.

There might be a world of misunderstanding between me and my brother, and Selena is mostly aware of it all, but none of that infiltrates breakfast because we all have a tepid love for our mother, despite what she did to me. When Dad died and she freed herself from the cult we were raised in, she proved to all of us that she’s stronger than we are. But that cult won’t let us go quietly, and over the past few years, our family has dwindled because of it. It’s why Reeven Matterson’s name is the first on my list.

When I’m done washing up, I kiss my mom goodbye, wave at Selena, and head out front, where Soren is smoking on the front step. When I walk out, he walks with me, our arms swaying between our bodies and our lips pressed tight together. I wish I didn’t resent him. I wish I didn’t want to include his name in my bargain. I wish our family was different and our lives were more stable. But nothing is ever that easy in Moros. I’m doing itforhim, and someday, he’ll understand. It’s the only way I know how to love him.

Because Selena is trying to stop our family curse by studying it.

But me and my brother? We’re trying to end the curse by killing another Sauder—maybe even each other—before we have the chance to kill ourselves. Or he is, anyway.

I made a sick bargain instead.

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