Page 14 of Sick Bargain

“Nothing. Just watched her die like he was seeing it second-hand or through a movie instead of experiencing it in real life.” And fuck, did that speak to me. To be intrigued by the death of a body is exactly how I react to people dying. Not in some sense that I caused the death, but in the fascinating way a body goes from living to dead, how everything shuts down, how it just… ends. “Was weird.”

“You like weird.” Menace grins.

“He’s nobody. Just the guy I have a bargain with.”

“Krypt,” Ghost warns again. Fuck him.

“Just the guy you throat raped!” Menace shouts. “What the fuck, Krypt? We’ve been friends forever, and I’ve never even seen you willingly touch someone. And him, of all people?” Menace glances at Ghost, cringing a bit.

Yeah, I’ve always figured I’m asexual or just fucked-up, but last night, something surged through me and I couldn’t stop it. It was the fear emanating from him, acting like such an aphrodisiac that I became a slave to it. My god, it turned me on when he pissed himself. Reactions to fear differ from person to person, and I fucking loved how Remiel got scared.

“What’re you going to do about him?” Ghost asks. “When he finds out…”

“He doesn’t get a say. This is my bargain, so he can fuck off about it. And so can you.”

“Until you kill him.” Ghost scowls. He’s personally invested in my bargain but he doesn’t get a say.

I ignore that and finish the joint. “Should I feel bad about the rape?”

They aren’t the right people to ask. Menace is a torture and pain junkie, and Ghost is a narcissist who lives and breathes in the grey area of life. I mean, we all do, but his grey area is often sexual, whereas mine never has been before.

“Yes,” Ghost snaps at me.

“If you want to,” Menace says. “Or you can revel in it. You finally have a life in your hands, and he willingly made the bargain, so it’s yours to do what you want with.” His grin is sick, but it makes me feel better. When Ghost shoves him, I almost feel bad. Not quite.

“Krypt,” Director calls from inside. “Let’s go. Morgue.”

Time to clean up my mess, I guess.

CURRENT RANK

1. Ransom

2. Seven

3. Ghost

4. Menace

5. Facts

6. Riot

7. Glitch

8. Kyd

9. Monster

10. Krypt

I hatethat her body has me hard. I don’t see her mottled flesh, greying under the fluorescent lights of the morgue’s cold room, or the crimson and blond hair that has turned a rusty brown.

No, I’m fixated on the bruises on her thighs. The ones that happened post-mortem from Remiel’s fingertips while I forced my way into his throat. I’m transfixed by the dried and browning drop of blood on her forehead, the one that dripped from my knife after pressing it to his throat.

I’m freaked out by my sexual reaction, unsure what it means.

“Anything I need to know about?” Director asks from behind me. “Your DNA all over this?”