Page 27 of First Surrender

“Stop trying to rescue me! I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity!” I shout, immediately regretting it. “Look, I’m sorry. I never yell, ever, but I can’t seem to stop arguing with you.” I blow out an exasperated breath.

“I bring out the worst in people. Call it a curse or a gift, I don’t care. I appreciate you looking out for Dec but I do not want to move into your house. I don’t want to keep disrupting Dec’s life. I’ll figure it out.”

“Are we still in the ceasefire?” I ask, watching the decision play across her face.

“For the moment,” she says softly. I recognize the exhaustion slumping her shoulders.

“For what it’s worth. I think you’re doing a great job with him. He’s a good kid. All of his teachers had great things to say.”

Chapter Thirteen

Natalie

“Why did you talk to his teachers?” A million scenarios play in my mind, none of which tell me why Jackson would be talking to Dec’s teachers. I’m doing my best to ignore his first comment, the one making my jaw quiver.

I don’t cry in front of anyone. The last time I cried was at my mom’s funeral service. She wasn’t even there unless you count her ashes in an urn as being present. I didn’t cry for my mom, I cried for Dec.

“I spent a lot of the day at his school. I wanted to make sure the security was operating to standard. I asked all his teachers and the staff to call me if anything strange happens. I wanted to ensure everything was locked tight before I told you what was going on. One less thing for you to worry about,” he admits.

He’s so casual about it. He has no idea how bizarre this is for me. He has done more for me than anyone ever has and we can’t stand to be in the same room with each other. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I really don’t want to cry but my eyes are burning. I turn to face the door so he can’t see my face. Damn, this man.

“That goes for you, too. I don’t care what time of day or night, if something feels off, call me. Even if you can’t stand the thought of me, call me, please.”

The desperation in his voice puts the nail in it for me. He is a decent human being. He wants Dec to be safe almost as much as I do and he hardly knows him.

“Still in the ceasefire?” I ask, my body still facing the door.

“Yeah.”

As soon as the word is out of his mouth I take the leap, ignoring his confused expression as I close the gap between us and wrap my arms around his waist. I bury my head in his chest and breathe in his scent. This is the only time I’ll ever do this, I want it to count.

“Thank you for caring about Dec.”

He doesn’t react at first, but after a few seconds his arms lift hesitantly and wrap themselves around my body, squeezing me into him.

I’ll go back to ruining his life tomorrow, but for now, I can admit that he feels good. His arms are strong, his body is firm, and he towers over me, making me feel protected for the first time in a long time.

My body against his is enough to distract me from the tears that I almost shed. It’s enough for me to regain my composure but I haven’t moved away. Neither has he. This little bubble will burst soon enough.

When I breathe him in again, memorizing the fresh, masculine scent, I feel his lips atop my head. He kisses my hair and then smooths a hand down my back, over my grown-out locks.

When I raise my head to look at him, he’s already looking at me. His eyes filled with questions. None of which I’ll be able to answer. I’ll never be able to explain this or why I need it.

My eyes drop to his mouth and I can’t will them away.

Would it be so bad?

“Nat.” My nickname on his lips doesn’t sting like it has in the past and I hate it.

“Jackson,” I whisper in response.

He puts his finger under my chin, raising my gaze to meet his eyes again. “You’re upset. There is a lot to process after everything that we’ve discussed. You should leave.”

“What if just this once, I didn’t?” My question shocks me, forcing me to swallow thickly. None of this makes sense.

“Are you asking for permission?” His words are soft, but his eyes are fiery, gravitating back to my mouth.

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