Page 44 of Forbidden Pawn

My lips curve into a slow smile. Despite everything, he really seems to care about me, even if he doesn’t trust me. It’s a strange comfort, and I hate that I’m letting myself feel that way.

I finish up, dry myself off, and pull on some fresh clothing, leggings and a hoodie before I sit on the edge of my bed, waiting for him.

When Ryker comes in to get me, he looks tense, his usual confidence somehow dulled. His eyes keep darting around, and there’s a distance in the way he carries himself.

“Ready?” he wants to know, scanning me from head to toe. “Looks like it. You look good.”

He clears his throat and looks away, as if he caught himself saying something inappropriate.

“Thank you,” I say, unable to stop myself from blushing. “So, we’re going to see my brothers?”

“Among others, yes,” he says. “They’ll be there, too.”

“It’ll be good to see them again,” I say, trying to speak lightly, though my mind races. What are they planning? Why would they digress from the plan we made?

“You look worried,” Ryker notices. “Is something wrong?”

I hurry to shake my head. “No, I’m just a little exhausted. I didn’t sleep well down there.”

He presses his lips together, before he murmurs: “I’m sorry about that.”

“You are?”

“No, I mean…” he says, grimacing as if he was in pain. “Not for locking you up down there. You had it coming. I’m just sorry you couldn’t sleep well.”

Our eyes meet and I don’t know what I’m seeing in his. There’s a distance between us that wasn’t there before, and it pains me to realize that. It feels like I’ve lost something precious.

Which is bullshit, of course, I have to remind myself.

I watch Ryker as he stands by the door, his posture rigid, his gaze hard to decipher. This distance between us shouldn’t bother me, but it does.

Trying to close the gap, I stand and take a step toward him, reaching out to touch his arm, searching for a small connection between us. But the second my hand grazes his sleeve, he recoils, his eyes flashing with something between anger and hurt.

“You’re still trying to manipulate me, aren’t you?” he accuses, his voice low but sharp.

I freeze, my hand dropping back to my side as a sharp sting pierces my chest. He’s right—and he’s wrong—and the truth sits heavy between us, twisting into something ugly and painful. His rejection feels like a slap, and I hate how much it bothers me. I hate that I care so much. And yet, the look in his eyes, the frustration, the mistrust—it aches deep inside me to know that I was the one to cause this.

But my father was the one who paid the ultimate price because of Ryker and his world. How could I even entertain these feelings? I never should have let things come to this point. I thought I knew what I was doing, but now I’ve created a mess that feels too big to handle.

I push the thought away. There can’t be any love between us. I don’t love him, I couldn’t. And he certainly doesn’t love me, despite the little gestures that say otherwise.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

Ryker’s face softens, if only slightly, and he reaches out, his fingers grazing mine.

“For what?” he asks.

For causing this confusion between us, for betraying you, for wanting to destroy you still, for lying to you, for making you feel this way, I think.

“For… going into your office when you told me not to,” I simply say. “I shouldn’t have.”

He regards me with a stern look, a line emerging between his brows, as if he knew I wasn’t telling the truth now either.

But then he reaches for my hand, hesitant but steady. I feel the warmth of his grip, his strong, calloused fingers enclosing mine as he leads me toward the door. It feels almost protective, and despite the confusion storming inside me, I hold on, clinging to the solidity of him.

We don’t speak as he guides me out of the house, the silence thick with unspoken words and messy emotions. But no matter what this meeting is going to be all about, I feel safe as long as I’m standing next to him.

Chapter 36

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