Page 60 of Fallen Petal

“And you take it,” I say, catching his sinister gaze. “You keep the memories that they unloaded on you.”

“Someone has to. I can’t make myself forget.”

I bite my lower lip, bewildered at my emotional response to his tale. I feel sorry for him.

And I feel guilty.

“That must be such a burden,” I say. “To store all those things that people wanted to forget.”

The smile on his face widens and he lets out a huff, laced with a little chuckle. I cast him a dazzled look.

“You’ve said those exact same words before, Petal,” he explains. “A few months ago. You said the exact same thing to me.”

Our eyes latch on to each other for a few moments as ominous silence stretches between us. I’m surprised at his revelation, even though I shouldn’t be. Of course, we’ve had this conversation before. I just can’t remember a single thing about it.

Because I didn’t want to.

“But I... I didn’t just ask you to erase a certain memory,” I say, caution lacing every syllable as I try to find the right words. “I asked you to delete everything. I wanted to forget everything about myself.”

He nods, his face strained as he averts his eyes to look down on the table between us.

“Why?” I probe further. “What was so terrible about me or my life that I asked to have it all erased?”

He throws me an ominous look. “If I told you now, it would all have been for nothing. You had your reasons, and I respected them. Not everyone did.”

“Everyone?” I repeat. “You mean like the girl? My friend? She didn’t approve of this? Is that why she’s here? Or... was here?”

He nods. “In a way, yes. She was here to protect you, to keep an eye on you, to calm you and give you support, in case I went too far with you.”

“Was...,” I repeat. “She was here, but she no longer is? Why? Where is she? What happened to her?”

Instead of giving me a reply, he checks the time on his wristwatch, letting out a deep sigh.

Is he waiting for something? Or someone? I’ve never seen him check the time before.

Just as I’m about to give voice to my questions, he gets up from his chairs, picking up both of our plates and carrying them over to the kitchen.

“You know she told me,” I announce, desperate to keep his attention and to continue our conversation.

It works. The plate lands on the kitchen counter with a weirdly loud sound as he turns around to me, arching his eyebrows in angry astonishment.

“I mean, she didn’t tell me,” I correct myself. “But she... she showed me a video. Of myself.”

He lets out an angry growl, supporting himself on the counter as he shakes his head, fixing me with an expression that speaks of disappointment and fury.

“Of course she did,” he snarls. “I should have known.”

“But it was a good thing!” I insist, now jumping up from my chair as well. As soon as I’m standing, I’m weirdly aware of my nakedness, especially when I notice his eyes journeying across my body, taking in the view of me with lust flickering in his hazel look.

I withstand the urge to cover myself, allowing him to observe me all he wants as I approach. The leash loosens, gathering toward my feet as I reach the kitchen counter, standing opposite to him.

“It gave me the reassurance I needed at the time,” I tell him. “I could tell that she was scared of showing me, because she wasn’t supposed to, but I’m so glad she did. Because it was exactly what I needed to allow myself to give in to you.”

I can feel the heat rise to my cheeks, knowing that he sees me blushing right before him.

“All the things that happened since then, they could only happen because of that,” I go on.

But he shakes his head now.

“That’s not entirely true, Petal,” he objects. “They could only happen because you wanted them enough to discard everything else. They happened because you gave yourself to me.”

He leans forward, placing his finger beneath my chin as he tilts my eyes up to his.

“You never asked me how you paid for this,” he whispers, his face close to mine. “I told you, my services are expensive, way too expensive for a girl like you. And you asked for a lot. You didn’t want just one tiny detail erased from your memory, you wanted it all gone. You wanted a clean slate, a new chance to become someone else, someone new. And you paid by allowing me to decide who that person will be.”

I inhale audibly, not moving an inch as he moves even closer, his lips finding mine in a soft kiss that’s nothing more than an innocent peck, but so sensual that it plays havoc with my needy self.

---