Page 5 of Lost Petal

Chapter 2

J

She’s so calm.

I expected a lot to happen once she woke up. I thought she’d scream, I thought she’d ram against the door, crawl at the walls, run around yelling obscenities.

This just shows how little I know her.

Or how much of her is gone.

You never really know how it will affect them, or how they will react once they wake up. It’s always a risk, every single time. Human beings are as unpredictable as they are different, and that really shows in extreme situations like this.

My eyes have been glued to the screen for hours, watching her as she floated in a dreamless sleep. I kept her as bare as possible, without ripping away her dignity entirely. Her face is uncovered by makeup, framed by the natural waves of her long ash-blonde hair. It’s darker than it used to be, but I doubt she ever dyed it. It was just a change that came as she grew into the woman she is now. I left her face naked because I didn’t want anything to distract from her beautiful dark green eyes once she wakes up. Those eyes have been killing me for years, ever since I saw them for the very first time.

And now they’re mine.

She is mine.

I still can’t believe it.

The white gown matches her perfectly, contrasting her summer tan and emphasizing her naturally large breasts. It’s the only place where the fabric gets stretched by her curves, while it hangs loosely on the rest of her slim body.

The sight of her drives me insane. I have been hard ever since she came into my house, and as pleasant as the feeling should be, it’s starting to become agonizing.

Because I know I’ll have to wait. I can’t just stomp in there and have my way with her, no matter how much I crave it.

Fuck. I’d ravage her like an animal.

She deserves better than that, despite the circumstances. She will need some time to adjust, and to understand her situation to the full extent. Only then can we start our little project, and only then will I be able to enjoy all of her. I’ll devour her on my terms—but not until the time is right.

My heart hiccups when I see her move for the first time since I left her lying on that bench. It’s nothing more than a little twitch in her left hand at first, but it’s soon followed by a motion of her arm, and a simple stretch of her legs.

While her body started moving, her mind still seemed at rest. Her face remained calm and apathetic and her eyes closed, while she continued to stretch and twitch.

When her eyes finally opened, it happened in one quick and violent motion. There was no first curious glance, no careful observation. She just opened them, and all of a sudden, she was fully there—as much as she could be.

Even through the night camera lens, I could tell that a big part of her was missing. She looked confused, lost, and weirdly empty as she stared ahead, her gaze resting right on the camera that’s hidden inside the light bulb without her knowing. I kept the light off for the first few moments, trying to read as much on her face as possible in the dark, when only vague and pixelated outlines were at my disposal. I wanted to give her some time to wake up, to find as much as possible of herself, before there was enough light to introduce her to the room that would inevitably scare the shit out of her.

The emptiness she’s experiencing must be frightening enough.

I moved closer to the screen when I noticed her lips moving. The microphone didn’t depict any sounds, so she was either whispering in a volume that was too low or not saying a word at all, despite the looks of it.

I needed more. I needed to see her.

That’s why I switched on the light earlier than planned. And her reaction to it was everything I could hope for, displaying the full extent of her vulnerability, her anxiety, her helplessness. She curled up to the side, hiding her face underneath her arm, and her beautiful body trembled as if the light were hurting her.

I felt torn about seeing her like this. It’s my intention to scare her, to hurt her, to break her just to make her whole again, but that doesn’t mean I’m not empathetic to her struggle.

Doubts keep creeping up on me, no matter how much I push them aside. I wonder if they will ever be strong enough to make me put an end to this, to set her free and back into the life I took from her.

After all, she’s not anybody.

It’s her.

My girl.

I always knew she was mine. But I never thought I’d be allowed to own her the way I need to own her. I thought life played a cruel joke on me when it washed her up at my door step.