Page 42 of Black Velvet

"Well, I guess you could say they are different in that they have themed rooms," I say. "Different colors, and each color holds a different meaning."

"Like what?" she asks, her eyes wide with curious excitement.

"Like... red for pain," I say. "And—"

"Pain?" she asks. "Like BDSM and stuff?"

"Yes. You know, whipping, spanking. That sort of thing."

"That's kinda... cool," she says, and nowshe'sthe one blushing.

Our eyes lock onto each other, and for a few moments, neither of us knows what to say. It's hard for me to tell whether she's following an agenda here. Is she genuinely interested in this because it's my job or because she wants to try it herself?

"It can be, yeah," I say. "If you're doing it with someone you trust."

She creases her eyebrows. "Do you trust your clients?"

"I wouldn't call it trust, but I feel safe because I know that they go through a strict screening process before they're allowed to book me. And if they hurt me, there are harsh repercussions."

"I see."

"I imagine it's different with a partner though, a boyfriend," I add, sounding more gloomy than intended.

"Definitely," Lila whispers, averting her eyes. She's blushing, making me wonder if this is more than just a simple conversation. Maybe she really is struggling with something, but doesn't know how to tell me?

Lila has a boyfriend. She always has a boyfriend. I don't think she has ever been single for longer than two months since the age of sixteen. But her relationships never last long, much like any that our mother has had.

My father left us when I was two years old, a classic story of a coward walking out the door and never returning to his family. My mother remarried twice since then and had many boyfriends in between, always declaring that each and every one of them was the true love of her life. Every single time. In a way, I envy her for thinking there is such a thing as true love. I myself don't believe in it for one second. One true love, the love of your life, only one perfect person for you? Wouldn't it be scary if that were true?

My mother's belief is so strong that she keeps projecting it onto every man she dates. Every new man is the one, and she truly believes it every single time, no matter how many times she's been let down.

I guess what I'm doing right now isn't that much different. I have to believe that every night could be the one when Damon shows up to see me, because if I didn't believe that there'd be no point in waiting for him, obeying his orders down to the last detail.

"How are things with...?”

Damn. I can't remember my sister's current boyfriend's name. Was it Lucas? Or Pete? No, that one's been gone for a while.

"Jim?" she helps me out, casting a look at me from the side.

"Um, yes, sorry, I—"

"It's okay," she assures me. "No need to remember his name now because I think I'll break up with him."

"Oh?" I ask, turning around to her, and she sighs. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Lila nods. "But I need a little more wine for that."

She hands me her empty glass, adding a beseeching smile.

I glance at the time. Still two hours until I have to show up at the club to wait for Damon.

"Oh, I know you have to show up for your shift later," Lila says. "You don't have to drink with me."

Show up for my shift. She doesn’t know about the current details of my job description, none of it. I think it's better that way.

I shake my head, smiling at her when I get up from the sofa. "Oh no, I'd never let you drink alone."

Chapter 25

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