Page 58 of Red Velvet

I can't do this.

Not by myself.

Jim is right about one thing: I need help. But not in the way he assumes.

I need advice. I need someone who stands by me, someone who knows what I'm going through, someone I can trust.

Someone who understands.

And then it hits me.

I'm not alone in this. I don't have to sit in this restroom for the rest of my life and feel sorry for myself.

There's one person who can help me.

Chapter 31

Kade

Why the fuck isn’t she picking up her phone?

I’ve been trying to get a hold of Lila ever since last night, texting her first while I was still in the car on my way home, then trying to call her once I got home. I didn't think much of it when she didn't pick up last night, but I'm seriously beginning to worry now.

I saw her run inside without him, and I saw him leave. I waited a few more moments, pondering whether I should go up and ring her doorbell, just to make sure she was really okay. But I didn't do it, because I didn't want her to know I’d been lingering around the corner, spying on her and her loser ex while they were fighting.

A part of me is still wondering whether I should’ve interfered, whether I could’ve spared her some unnecessary stress and pain by chasing the guy away when I still had the chance.

But I couldn't deny her wish to be alone with him. As hard as it was, I know when I pose a burden to others and my presence is hindering their actions. Lila's plea had enough conviction to put me in my place, something I’ve rarely experienced, and especially not with women. As fragile as she may appear at first, she calls on a strength all her own that I haven't seen in a woman before, and I admire the shit out of that.

It's incredibly sexy, too.

I keep reminding myself of her power again and again as reoccurring worries nag me during my meeting with Damon and Greg. I can't help but glance at my phone every few seconds, hoping she may have finally responded to one of my many attempts to contact her.

But she hasn’t.

"You still with us?" my brother prods, giving me an annoyed look across the table. It's not the first time he’s had to pull me back to the task at hand. I don't even blame him for his discontent, as I would feel the exact same way if I was him. Especially if I knew the reason for my partner's absent thoughts was a woman. Just a woman, for God's sake.

Lila is so much more than that, though. She'smywoman, and for all I know, she could be in trouble.

Nevertheless, I nod, earning an exasperated frown from both Damon and Greg when I ask them about a detail in the contract that we've already talked about twice.

"Kade, we can reschedule this meeting if you're not all here," Greg suggests, while Damon nods next to him. "This is wasted time if one of us keeps trailing off."

I violently shake my head. "I'm fine, sorry. I promise it won't happen again."

"Sure." Damon raises an eyebrow at me. It's hard to believe that just a few weeks ago, I was the one looking at him and his bride in the same condescending manner.

Of course, my mind drifts as soon as they start talking again, and I find myself nodding, faking my mental presence as well as I can while we finalize a first draft for a project I never thought I'd agree to.

It was Lila who pushed me over the edge, not because she persuaded me by force, which has been tried on me so many times before, but because she made me realize what I truly wanted. In fact, she was the first to ever even ask that question. She didn't phrase it in a "You must want" kind of way, but in a way that left room for me to say no. She had no angle and was purely interested in one thing: my satisfaction. While she may have framed me as a rebel, she also believed in my ability to make informed decisions, no matter what those decisions would look like in the end.

That was new to me. That and the fact that I’d even talked about it with her in the first place. Our date last night was something she never asked for because I drew a clear line, one she accepted and never threatened to overstep. I was the one who leaped across it.

I don't regret it one bit. I'd do it again. And Iwantto do it again.

But I have no way of knowing how she feels about it, because she's ignoring me. Next to all the worry about her well-being, I'm also concerned that she may have made a decision that doesn't bode well for me. A decision that was induced by the appearance of her worthless ex. She looked angry and distressed, leaving him out there like a drowned rat after he kept pushing her, but what tells me that he didn't get through to her at all? Maybe she just needed time to think.

Maybe she needed to be alone to evaluate the decision to break free and run into the arms of someone like me. She wouldn't be the first to get scared, and she wouldn't be the first to run away from the things that happen between people like us.

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