Page 46 of Blue Velvet

“Poverty isn’t the only hardship one can endure while growing up,” he says.

Now I’m the one huffing with indignation. “Well, itisa fucking big hardship, I can tell you that.”

“I’d never deny that,” he says, angrily. “And I’m not trying to play a who-suffered-more game with you.”

I feel dumb for implying that he couldn’t have possibly suffered any hardships himself just because he grew up in a wealthy family. It’s a simple-minded assumption that comes across as convincing all too easily.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to-”

“I know we’re not troubled by the same sorrow,” he says. “In fact, our experiences are polar opposites when it comes to that whole college thing.”

I cast him a quizzical look.

“You said you received little support when you decided to go to college,” he elaborates. “For me, it was unthinkable not to go to college, because it was naturally expected of me, even though that was probably the only thing they ever expected of me.”

“Doesn’t sound too bad to me,” I say, carefully. I’m still confused by all of this and don’t know what to make of this conversation. It seems we couldn’t be any more different, except for the fact that we’re both the younger sibling, the one who feels like his or her burden was bigger than theirs. But there’s one other thing we appear to have in common. Just like me, he doesn’t seem to have anyone to talk to.

He smirks at me.

“I’m not trying to make it sound bad,” he says. “I’m just telling you how it is. My older brother has always been treated differently because he’s the heir to my family’s empire, the one who’s supposed to make sure our business will continue to thrive. Sadly, he’s not very good at it.”

“What kind of business is it?”

He looks at me, unsure whether he should confide in me.

“Construction,” he says eventually. “My grandfather built the company, and my brother almost destroyed it.”

“How?”

He sighs and shakes his head.

“That doesn’t matter,” he says, meaning that he doesn’t want to tell me. Fair enough.

“What matters is that I was the one who helped him get out of the shithole he dug for himself,” he continues. “And I’m the one who came out in a better position at the end, mostly because I’m not involved with his failing business.”

My eyes widen in surprise. “You’re not working for your family’s business?”

He shakes his head. “I never really have. It wasn’t what was intended for me.”

“But...,” I utter, gesturing around the room. “I mean... you’re still....”

“Doing pretty well?” he completes my sentence. “Yes, I am, but it’s built from my trust fund money and the compensation I received from saving my brother’s ass.”

He picks up his fork and cuts off another piece of steak, angrily stabbing at it.

“Construction has never really been my thing, anyway,” he mutters before stuffing his face with food.

“So, what do you do?”

He looks at me, still chewing, and his facial expression changes to one I’m all too familiar with.

“You,” he says. “As soon as you’ve finished your food.”

26

Loran

I’m not an idiot.I saw the way she eyed the silverware, the way her eyes darted back and forth between me and the knife in her hand. The way her face darkened every time she pondered potential chances to attack me, and her chances of getting out alive.