My face hardens and I can feel myself tensing up. I shouldn't tell her. This is dangerous territory, and we're already too close, too familiar. Every personal detail I share with her makes me even more vulnerable to a potential attack later on. I can't let myself be weakened by her like this.
But what if there's nothing to worry about? What if my caution is overly excessive?
She's not Elsa, after all...
"I couldn't do it," I say. "I couldn't go through with it. You're mine. It didn't feel right."
She frees herself from my tight embrace to look up to me. "But you have done it before, haven't you? You said you like to share."
"I don't like sharing you."
"Why not?"
There it is again. That intense gaze. Those smart eyes, piercing right through me, already in the know about everything she pretends not to understand. I don't have to say the words for her to know that I've fallen for her. The tables have turned on me. I'm no longer the strong one in this, the one who has a lock on everything, no longer the one in control.
I've become the weak link in this arrangement.
"You know why, Button," I tell her, fixating on her gleaming eyes. "Why do you insist on showing me up like this?"
She shakes her head. "You overestimate me, Sir. I'm not following an agenda as cunning as yours."
I'm left startled as she peels herself out of my arms, sniffing and fixing her face. She looks lost, a hint of sorrow casting a visible shadow over her face when she looks at me. Her smile is somber.
"If you don't mind, I'll take a shower, and then I’ll be out of your way for tonight."
I don't know what to say. It torments me to see her like this, hurt and disappointed. But I can't bring myself to give in to that feeling. To become weak once again.
"Sure."
My agreement hits her like a slap in the face, I can tell. She wanted me to stop her, for me to keep her with me and say the words she needs to hear.
She spins around on her heels and makes a move to leave the room. Just before she walks out the door, she turns around to me one more time, throwing me a bleak look.
"You know, there's nothing wrong with you liking me," she whispers. "Because I like you."