Page 63 of Now or Never

“Not a problem.”

“And since we’re on the topic… what are we gonna do?”

“I don’t know. I have to go home and think about it.”

“Are we going back to Long Island?”

“No.”

“That narrows down our activities to shopping, pedicure, or hunting a vampire.”

I idled in front of Lula’s apartment. “I’ll pick you up at eight o’clock.”

“Should I bring garlic?”

“Wouldn’t hurt.”

I drove home on autopilot and parked, and while I was in the elevator I promised God I would be a better person if he would make sure Herbert wasn’t waiting for me in my apartment. I entered my apartment and looked around. No Herbert. Hard to tell if God had anything to do with it, but I’d be on my best behavior for a day or two just in case.

I said hello to Rex, dumped my messenger bag on the dining room table, and stood with my mouth open and my eyes wide, staring at the giant television attached to my living room wall. The remote and some instructional material were on the end table next to the couch. I turned the television on and flipped through a bunch of channels. The picture and sound were fantastic, but nothing jumped out at me that I’d want to see. I shut the television off and went back to the dining room and reviewed everything I had on Zoran. I went onto the internet and researched vampires. Some of them sort of looked like Zoran. Good thing I didn’t believe in vampires or else I’d have been pretty freaked out. My eye was twitching again. Stupid caffè mocha. I went into the kitchen and got a banana. Bananas and Pop-Tarts are two of my favorite things because you just peel off the wrapper and eat it. Pop-Tarts have an edge over bananas because they don’t turn black if you forget about them. I collected my thoughts while I ate the banana. Either Zoran actually believed he was a vampire or else he enjoyed the pretending. Maybe it was some of both those things. It could be hard to separate reality from lunacy when you were on shrooms and acid.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

I picked Lula up at eight o’clock. She’d traded in the pink Afro for a lot of copper-colored curls. She was wearing seven-inch spike-heeled thigh-high boots and a denim spandex dress that skimmed the tops of the boots. I was wearing the same old, same old. To compensate for the clothes, I’d lined my eyes, added an extra sweep of mascara, and gone with cherry-red lipstick instead of a natural gloss.

“I like the boots,” I said to her.

“Being that it’s Saturday I thought I’d dress down and do denim. I got the garlic in my bag and a bottle of water. They were able to melt the Wicked Witch of the West with some water inThe Wizard of Ozso I thought it wouldn’t hurt to pack some.”

“And it’ll come in handy if we get thirsty.”

“Fuckin’ A,” Lula said. “What are we doing today?”

“I want to go through Zoran’s house.”

“Lordy, Lordy,” Lula said. “I was afraid it was gonna be something like this.”

“I’m sure Zoran isn’t there.”

“Yeah, but it’s gonna have vampire cooties.”

“You can do lookout, and I’ll go in.”

“I guess that would be okay. What about the doughnuts? Connie gets extra Boston cream on Saturdays. And coffee? Did you bring coffee and doughnuts?”

I was embarrassed to tell her that I’d made myself a scrambled egg for breakfast and that I’d had a glass of orange juice. It was so healthy. It felt totally wrong.

“We can stop at the office and pick up a couple doughnuts,” I said. “And I could use coffee.”

The coffee part was true. I’d made coffee, but it sucked. Connie made better coffee. And truth is, my scrambled egg wasn’t all that good either, but honestly, is a scrambled egg ever fantastic? I mean, it’s not like pancakes and bacon.

I drove to the office and waited at the curb while Lula ran in and got the doughnuts and coffee.

“I’m good to go,” she said, getting into the car and putting two containers of coffee in the drink holders. She buckled herself in and opened the box of doughnuts. “Connie kept a couple for herself and gave us the rest. She had a new FTA for you too. Came in late yesterday. I have it in my tote bag.”

“Is it worth anything?” I asked her.

“I don’t know. I didn’t read it.”

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