Page 55 of Now or Never

“What can I get you?” he asked.

“Are you Goofy?” I asked him.

“Usually,” he said.

“I’m looking for someone. His parents said you might know where to find him.”

“What’s his name?”

“Zoran,” I said. “I understand he also goes by Fang. He works at the laundromat on Freemont.”

“Whoa. Yeah. I know the dude. He thinks he’s a vampire.”

“Have you seen him lately?”

“Not since he sank his canines into one of his customers. Are you cops?”

“No,” I said. “We’re working for his family. They want to find him.”

This wasn’t a lie. His parents had put up his bond money. So, in a way I was working for them.

“His family,” Goofy said. “Are they like… vampires too?”

“Let’s just say they have dental problems and leave it at that,” I said.

“Look,” he said. “I don’t want any trouble. This dude is scary. I only know him as a customer. I entertain him just like everybody else. It’s my thing. I’m Goofy. I’m everybody’s friend. I can laugh like Goofy.Haw ah haw ah haw.”

“That’s pretty good,” I said.

“Yeah, it gets me a lot of tips. Especially after people get drinking. On a good night I can make more than the girls.”

“He comes in here and he drinks and sometimes he’s high and he talks to you,” I said. “Think about it. What have you got for me?”

Ranger put a fifty-dollar bill on the bar, under a coaster. Goofy reached for it, and Ranger very quietly said, “Not yet.”

“Okay, why not,” Goofy said, “it’s not like I’m a lawyer or a doctor with client privilege. He lives close. In a house. I don’t know the street. He has a truck, but he never drives it. He walks from his house to the laundromat and here. He’s always alone. I don’t think he has any friends. I started working here two years ago and he’s sort of a regular. He comes and goes. I think he goes back to check on the laundromat and then he comes back here and has tequila. Always tequila. Once he said he liked blood. He liked the way it smelled and tasted. He looked over at the girl onthe pole and licked his lips, and I almost threw up. Then he gave me a ten-dollar tip and left.”

“What about your other regulars? Did he ever talk to them?”

“He might have tried but talking about blood is pretty much a turnoff, even for the gangbangers and dopers. It’s just weird. And then there are the fangs. It’s not a good look.”

“Let’s assume he didn’t go far. Where would he be hiding?” I asked him.

“I don’t know. There are some condemned buildings when you get farther up the street. Housing is sketchy on this block. There are dopers who would take him in. Maybe you should just go door-to-door and see if you smell rotting flesh.”

That got a very small smile out of Ranger. He gave Goofy a business card with a phone number on it. No name. No address. Just a phone number. “If you have more information,” Ranger said.

“Who do I ask for?”

“Just identify yourself as Goofy.”

We left the bar and returned to the Rangeman SUV.

“Thanks for being Bruteman,” I said to Ranger. “I didn’t learn anything new, other than that he drinks tequila, but it’s possible that you’ll get a phone call.”

“It’s a process,” Ranger said.

It was almost midnight, but I couldn’t sleep. I was freaked out over the whole vampire thing. The ugliness of it. The insanity. I got out of bed, put my sweatshirt on over my T-shirt, and went into the kitchen. Rex was awake and running on his wheel. Oblivious to everything awful. I gave him fresh water and refilledhis food cup. I went into the dining room and checked my email and text messages. I downloaded the GPS directions to the North Fork of Long Island to my iPhone. I studied the satellite picture of the vineyard.

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