Page 53 of Now or Never

“It has elbow macaroni and cheese and lean ground beef in it,” Grandma said. “It’s got all the essential food groups.”

My father had his head down, forking in the Humdinger.

“Have you been watching the news about Bruno Jug?” Grandma asked me. “They say he’s missing. Is that because you put him in jail?”

“No. He disappeared before I had a chance to deliver him,” I said.

“Nobody knows where he is,” Grandma said. “I think he’s in the landfill. Did you look in the landfill?”

“Ketchup,” my father said. “I need ketchup.”

Grandma jumped up, trotted off to the kitchen, and returned with ketchup.

“There’s been a lot of talk about Jug since this story broke,” Grandma said, topping off her wineglass. “He was known to like the ladies too much, but there’s never been word of him drugging someone or molesting young girls. Some people are saying it’s because he’s notall thereanymore. What do you think?” she asked me.

“He’s a little odd, but it’s hard to tell if it’s an act, just his personality, or the beginnings of dementia. What do you think?”

“I think it’sallof those things,” Grandma said. “And I think there’s something fishy about the story of him drugging a fourteen-year-old girl and raping her. Jug wouldn’t drug a kid. He’d buy her. Anyway, I expect to learn more tonight. MildredSenski is having a viewing tonight at Stiva’s. She’s in slumber room number two because Martin Goodman grabbed number one. I wouldn’t necessarily go to the Goodman viewing but seeing how things have turned out, I wouldn’t miss giving my respects to Mildred Senski. Her cousin, Grace, is married to a Jug. Grace will know all the good stuff.”

“Take notes for me,” I told Grandma. “See if Grace knows where Jug is hiding out.”

CHAPTER TWELVE

I was on my parents’ couch, watching hockey with my dad, when Grandma came home from the viewing.

“I got a real scoop for you,” Grandma said. “I’ll tell you in the kitchen. I need a piece of pie. The Goodman crowd ate all the cookies and by the time I got to the table there was nothing but crumbs. It’s like they never saw a cookie before. It’s because all those women who are friends with the Goodmans are nothing but skin and bones. Stick-figure bodies and big bobbleheads. Probably never have a cookie in the house. All they got in their refrigerator is kale and those green blender drinks. And then when they go out, they eat everyone else’s cookies. They don’t even eat them normal. They nibble and break them into pieces like they aren’t going to eat the whole thing.”

Grandma took the pie out of the fridge and cut a piece for herself and a piece for me. I took a tub of vanilla ice cream out ofthe freezer and put it on the table, and Grandma and I sat down and dug in.

“Here’s the deal,” Grandma said. “Grace told me that Jug and his slut wife and vicious dog are onvacation. She was happy to tell me all this because she’s not a fan of the wife or the dog and she’s not all that crazy about Jug, either. Plus, I think she’d had some cocktails before the viewing. She said the family felt it was best to get Jug out of town until they paid off the mother of the fourteen-year-old.”

“Did Grace say how long this would take?”

“They’re negotiating. Grace said everyone is being very protective of Jug. She did a lot of eye-rolling when she said this.”

“He has some serious tax evasion charges waiting for him in court.”

“I don’t think the family is worried about that. The judge and jury will all get fruit baskets. The family is mostly worried about Jug having a heart attack from a Viagra overdose. Anyway, Grace didn’t know where they were keeping Jug, but he’s going to be there for a while and it’s not the landfill.”

We finished the pie and ice cream and Ranger called.

“Are we still on for tonight?” he asked.

“Yes. Is that okay?”

“I’m down a man so I’m taking the night shift with Tiny. He’ll ride shotgun with us. I’m not expecting any problems so we should have time to take care of business. I’ll pick you up in half an hour.”

“Perfect.”

Ranger had high-end clients who paid a premium to get superior protection. He kept several fleet cars in constant motion 24/7 patrolling those clients. Tonight, he was riding patrol withone of his men. This was good for me. There would be no pressure tonight and tomorrow I could take my test.

I left my parents’ house, pulled into my building’s parking lot, and saw lights flash behind me. I parked and went to the Rangeman SUV. Ranger was driving, and Tiny was in the back seat. If Tiny was green, he could easily pass for the Hulk. I got in next to Ranger, said hello to Tiny, and buckled myself in.

“We’re going to Lucky Linda’s on the third block of Stark Street,” I said to Ranger. “Zoran, the vampire, seemed to be friends with, or at least an acquaintance of, the bartender.”

Ranger pulled out of the lot and headed toward the center of the city. “What’s the bartender’s name?”

“Goofy. No one seems to know his real name.”

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